New Adrenaline
by TeebsSingerWriter
Summary: Although the New Directions have taken Sectionals by storm, things at McKinley High remain the same. The only change is that the bullying, for some reason, gets even worse, especially for Rachel Berry. How will Rachel deal with it now that she gets to know Jesse, a boy whose popularity is based on being in show choir? Starts in "Hell-O". St Berry fic. Kurt/Rachel friendship.
1. Bruised

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story. **

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_I am not a native speaker, so I apologize for every mistake I might make in advance. If you find any mistakes I make regularly, please tell me about them in a review or PM.  
_

_I'd also love reviews about other subjects, especially about how much you love the story, if you do. But also tell me if you hate it, so I don't continue to waste my writing efforts on something you as readers don't like.  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 1 **

**- Bruised -**

I rushed down the hallway, not even looking where I was going. Why should I look when I didn't even care? I just wanted to leave that _feeling_ behind, that mixture of hurt, defeat, humiliation … and most importantly the broken heart. I'd once read that people really could die from a broken heart, and I wondered how these people must feel. How bad their pain must be. Because, honestly, I didn't think it could get much worse.

"Hey, Berry."

It was only at the sound of Azimio's arrogant sneer that it occurred to me that maybe I should have paid attention to where I was going and what was around me. Or, to put it more precisely, _who_was around me. I took a deep breath, straightened my spine and, carefully considering any other options I might have – which included running away, running away and running away as fast as I possibly could – turned around to face them. There were three of them, Azimio and two other clichéd jocks whose names I didn't remember. But I knew their faces, of course. It was hard to forget a face once it had given you the distinct superior expression only a bully has when he's just entirely covered you in ice-cold, sticky slushie.

"What are you doing here Berry? All alone, left even by your loser friends?" Azimio said while he walked towards me, carefully emphasizing every syllable. It was then that I realized I didn't have the strength to stand up to them, not now, not after the debacle this day had turned out to be. I had already changed out of slushie-stained clothes once today, this morning, when I'd still been foolish enough to think that our win at Sectionals had made any difference at this school. Well, reality had certainly caught up with me. Actually, it was standing right in front of me, in the form of three muscular bullies, and grinned foolishly at me.

"I heard Hudson dumped you?" Azimio whispered maliciously, standing so close to me that I could feel his breath on the skin of my face. I bit back the tears. No, I wouldn't give him that. I would not cry like a hurt little girl in front of him. I still had my dignity, or at least some of it, left. "Seems to me he finally did something right. Maybe he'll leave your stupid little children's choir and finally be a man again." In that very moment, I wished I'd just run away, although I knew they probably would've caught up with me anyway.

I knew what kind of situation I was in. The school was practically empty. If there were still any teachers in this building, they'd surely head to their cars straight away. The chances that any members of the cleaning staff or the janitor showed up right here right now were unbelievably low. I was all alone with three jocks who would do goodness-knew-what to me. I was terrified.

"Are you scared, Berry?" Azimio hissed into my ear as if he'd somehow sensed my thoughts, causing me to involuntarily take a small step back. That was when he grabbed my wrist. "Oh no, you won't escape us, Berry." The two guys behind him nodded approvingly, apparently looking forward for what was to come. "You surely don't want to miss out on all the fun we've planned for you?"

"Of course I don't." I wanted to sound strong, like I could actually be a danger to them, but my words were barely a whimper.

"Of course you don't!" Azimio repeated the words I'd just said in a loud scream and shoved me against the wall. I felt the pain instantly. In my right arm that had hit the wall the hardest, in my back and in my left wrist, which he'd refused to let go of.

"Guys." Azimio commanded calmly, half-turning to face his buddies. I didn't even manage to squeeze my eyes shut before they threw the slushies at me and gasped when I felt the cold all over my body. The ice-cold drink was seeping through my clothes, my bra, my panties until it seemed to cover all of my skin and I was all of a tremble. I only noticed that Azimio had let gone of my wrist when I collapsed, still trembling and finally unable to hold the tears back any longer.

"Have a nice day, Berry." I heard him cry out and thanked god that he was moving away from me. Apparently he'd had his fun. I got up slowly, desperately trying to collect myself and stop crying. I didn't have any clothes I could have changed into left in my locker; I usually didn't get slushied more often than once a day. So, unless I got home before my dads did, they'd notice the sticky mess my clothes had turned into and know for sure something was seriously wrong.

Of course they didn't know about the bullying. In their minds, I was a star. I was a gifted singer, a trained dancer, after all. I had learned everything I needed to be _on top. _They didn't know that glee club was considered to be the lamest thing ever. They thought I was strong. Confident. They most certainly didn't think I was a scared, fragile little girl.

My feet started moving towards the exit automatically. I only needed to get to the parking lot, to my car, to home. Once I was home I could warm up, take a long, warm shower and wash the slushie out of my hair.

My dads wouldn't notice anything, I knew that. I had been hiding the bullying for quite some time after all. I'd go home, shower, do the laundry and put my usual smile on. It always worked.

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I didn't notice the bruises until I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror. I'd already put my clothes into the washing machine and taken a long, warm shower. My hair was now slushie-free and smelled of pineapple and papaya – my favorite shampoo – and I should be feeling all happy and warm. Usually, once I had washed the slushie off and wasn't cold anymore, it was over. It would still be there in my mind, of course, and remind me of the fact that I rather shouldn't go to a certain place at a certain time; but there wouldn't be any visible signs of the attack.

None of the bullies had ever been that brutal. Neither Azimio nor anyone else had _ever_been that violent.

I felt a shiver running down my spine as the possibility that this would become a new routine crossed my mind. "Let's hope he just had a bad day." I mumbled to myself as I examined the large bluish green bruise on my upper back carefully. I would have to make sure Mr. Shue wouldn't plan on any backless dresses for any of our new numbers, but that shouldn't be a problem. I'd always been a responsible captain. He knew my advice was valuable. I'd just have to say something about the fact that the quality of our music shouldn't be tainted by showing too much skin and he'd listen to me.

The back wasn't what was most worrying, though. It surely hurt, but I could easily push that pain to the back of my mind. The arm, however, was a different matter. There weren't any visible signs – neither on the wrist Azimio had been holding so tightly nor on the right arm that had hit the wall first and therefore the hardest – but it really, really hurt. I carefully moved my left hand and my right arm and noticed that there was a massive stabbing pain in both my wrist and my elbow. I grimaced as I thought about the dance routines I would have to do; the ballet training I would have to attend. I couldn't, under any circumstances, show any signs of what had happened to me.

My dads would surely get suspicious if I missed a glee rehearsal or ballet training or basically just anything. I never rested, never became sick. So I took a deep breath and got dressed again, only a simple shirt and leggings. I certainly wasn't planning on leaving the house again today.

I had only just flung myself on my bed – which caused my arm to hurt like hell – when it occurred to me that I hadn't even started thinking about what I was going to do for this week's glee task. I reached out for the notebook on my bedside table, quickly navigated to my favorite online sheet music site and typed "hello" in the search engine. But, honestly, I didn't find one song I felt like singing. I wanted to do something that would show Finn how I felt – and that he had been an idiot when he dumped me. Granted, I knew I shouldn't be that furious. But I was. I mean – inner rock star? Come on. Even for Finn, that sounded pretty dumb.

I wanted to make him feel like he was in hell. I wanted, for the three, maybe four minutes the song would last, make his life a living hell. I felt a grin on my face – a real, honest grin, even if it was caused by my anger at Finn - and I tell you, after all this day had brought me, it felt great. Just great. I removed the –o and searched for "Hell" instead. Okay, I'll admit it, I expected a lot of death metal to come up and I can't really see me singing that. But to my surprise, I found the perfect song on the first page.

I even managed to temporarily forget about the pain in my arm as I started to rehearse.

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_So, that's it for now. If you enjoyed the first chapter and want to read more, please press the story alert button. If you don't have an account on this site, you can also follow me on twitter ( teebs_teebs) or add me on facebook (Teebs SingerWriter) where I will post a tweet/status update whenever I add a new chapter.  
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_So ... any thoughts on the chapter? Type below. _**:)**_  
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	2. Found

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Same as usu_a_l: I'm not a native speaker, so I'd like for you to tell me about any grave mistakes I make. _**  
**

_Also, reviews would really make me happy.  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 2**

**-**** Found -**

I exhaled the breath I'd seemed to be holding all day once the door of McKinley High closed behind me, relieved at the knowledge that I'd escaped them at least for this day. Actually, I couldn't believe my own luck. I'd expected far worse, based on what had happened only just yesterday. Azimio had only crossed my way once today, and of course he'd gladly taken the opportunity to shove me into the lockers with my hurt right arm first, but other than that, my way had stayed clear of bullies. And I surely hadn't been dumb enough to blindly and furiously rush through the entirely abandoned school building again.

I was slightly angry, though. I mean, who was Mr. Schue to tell me off? After all, I had done a perfect re-interpretation of _Gives You Hell._ Who cared whether the damn song title contained a "Hello", anyway? The judges at Regionals wouldn't know about the weekly assignments that were Mr. Schue's attempt at creative teaching methods. Most of my teammates – except the one I'd sung the song for, or rather because of - had been thrilled at my performance. They knew I was great, they knew I was their star, the voice that would most likely make the difference at Regionals. But Mr. Schue had to tell me off time and time again, when even he knew that without me, ND's chances of winning were incredibly low.

Well, so I'd find another song that, hopefully, would meet Mr. Schue's expectations. I'd try and look on the bright side of it: I'd get to perform a second time this week, showing off my indispensable abilities once more, hopefully finally making the others realize that they did need me, whether they liked to admit it or not.

"Rachel Berry?"

I froze at the sound of my name, registering that, sometime, I'd heard this voice before. My common sense told me that in ninety-nine percent of all cases, I would get slushied or, more recently, hurt some other way when someone called my name in an empty space around McKinley High. Granted, although the McKinley High parking lot wasn't exactly crowded at this time of the day, it wasn't deserted, either. So I took a deep breath, and, once I'd overcome the initial shock, looked for whoever had demanded my attention. I heard someone come my way from behind me and spun around on my heels, this time ready to run. Maybe I could reach my car before they could catch up with me.

I didn't run. I only froze again, and I'm pretty sure I just stood there, staring at him open-mouthed. He did not belong here. I remembered seeing him in spotlight, where he did belong, with his dark-haired blue-eyed movie star look, his show talent and his _voice._ Of course I knew him. One year ago, when that bonehead Sandy Ryerson had still coached the glee club, we'd been destroyed by Vocal Adrenaline and their lead vocalist, Jesse StJames. The very same Jesse StJames that stood right in front of me, right now. And all I could think was that he was so out of place.

"Where have you been all the time?" He asked the second I managed to close my mouth and actually make an impression that suggested that there was more than thin air between my ears. I didn't answer his question, though, because I was afraid at what might come out of my mouth if I dared to open it again. He didn't let my silence stop him, however. He just continued talking. "I saw you singing at Sectionals, you know." He said and gave me a warm smile. "Although you may not reach Barbra's emotional depth yet, you're undeniably talented. How come a star like you could remain hidden for such a long time?" He asked.

He had called me a star. He'd said I was talented. Jesse StJames, star of Vocal Adrenaline, the best glee club in this entire Nation, had said I was talented. I couldn't help but break into a wide smile. "I don't know what you mean. I didn't hide." I said.

"How old are you? You can't tell me that you're a freshman." He stated in a reasonable voice, obviously trying to break this down to the facts and understand why I'd been "hiding", as he'd phrased it.

"No, I'm a sophomore." I answered automatically.

"So where were you last year?" He asked, looking me straight in the eye while I wondered how in hell I should explain the Ryerson debacle.

"You may not remember me, but we did compete last year – against you." I started to explain, grinning at his confused look. "Remember the McKinley High Songbirds?" I asked, smiling wearily at him, and knew that he remembered when he gasped in surprise.

"But you didn't sing then. I would remember you." His simple statement made me smile again, and I filed his words as a compliment. _Your voice, your performing is unforgettable._

"You're right; I didn't get any solos last year. Mr. Ryerson used to have a foible for young white boys." I explained.

"And now he doesn't?" Jesse asked, clearly trying to make sense of what I was telling him.

"No. He got fired after he went too far." I finished, wondering how easy it was to reveal the musical misery my freshman year had been to this stranger. "We have a new coach now, Mr. Schue. He's alright." I added. Jesse nodded understandingly.

"And he obviously knows his strongest players. He finally let you sing, after all." I smiled, biting back the comment that Mercedes would have sung the ballad if Coach Sylvester hadn't leaked our set list, but I thought that would be too much of the McKinley High dynamics for him right then.

"I didn't introduce myself." He suddenly realized. "I'm Jesse. Jesse StJames."

I just nodded. "I know who you are. You're hard to forget once one has seen you singing." I realized that I'd just rephrased the compliment I thought he'd given me before, the one about being an unforgettable performer. Well, it was certainly true about him.

"That's a real compliment, coming from you." He said.

I smiled, wondering how this conversation could be so even. It felt as if we'd been close friends for years. As if we were equal to one another. Just … perfect. _You don't even know who this guy is._, the reasonable part of my mind whispered, but, for the first time in my life, I told the reasonable part of my mind to shut up. This was about intuition, about feeling, and I had a good feeling about Jesse St James.

"It's a real pity you don't live in the Carmel district, you know." He said all of a sudden. "We'd make a pair of leads that would blow the competition away." That was when he took my hand and I felt that warm _thing_ for the first time. Not the pre-mature prickles, something deeper, like a warm wave that radiated through my entire body. And that just at the simple touch of two hands, with a guy I'd only just met.

"Can I drive you home?" He asked, already leading me towards his car which probably meant that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Of course you can." I answered, trying to spot his car while he led me towards a corner of the parking lot where the only car was a big, black, brand-new Range Rover. A whispered "oh my god" escaped my lips, making him smile.

"The sponsors of Vocal Adrenaline gave one to every one of us after we won Nationals last year."

"Sponsors." I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. Jesse just laughed, opened the passenger's door and helped me climb into the huge monster of a car before he walked around it and got in on the offside.

"So, where do you live?" He asked.

I began to describe the way as he pulled out of the parking lot, following my directions. The ride was over way to soon, making me once again feel sorry for myself because I lived in such a small town. Jesse was a real gentleman, however, opening the door for me and taking me to the door of the small house I lived in together with my dads. I will admit that I almost didn't believe it when he said the words, because I'd stopped believing that good things happened just like that a long time ago. But maybe everyone, including even me, deserved a little luck sometimes.

"Want to meet me Friday night?"

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_Review! Review! Come on, we both know you want to, so just do it ..._


	3. My Same

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Ah, what would an author's note be without my returning begging for reviews? Well, I really love them. **  
**_

_Also, I am not a native speaker, so please tell me about my mistakes so I can improve.  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 3**

**- My Same -**

In retrospect, it seemed to me that the rest of the week had passed way too fast. Usually, my days at McKinley High would seem to last forever, with minutes stretching to feel like hours when I had to share a classroom with a group of the bullies whose favorite victim I apparently was. This week, however, time had seemed to fly by. Furthermore, hardly any bully had crossed my way. I had been careful, of course, even more careful than was normal for me, because the pain in my arm was only fading away slowly and reminded me of the need to remain cautious on and around the school grounds. Nevertheless, with my bully-free way, my mood had lifted a little more every day until I made my way to the McKinley High parking lot with a big grin on my face on Friday.

I guessed that this was what happened when you were looking forward to something. After all, I was definitely looking forward to my – well, my _meeting_with Jesse StJames tonight. Although meeting did sound awkward, even in my thoughts, I still had doubts if "_date"_would be an expression that matched the circumstances better. _Well, we'll see,_ I told myself, once again silencing the part of my mind that felt the need to make everything more complicated then it was.

There were other things to worry about, important things. Like what the hell I was going to wear. I had no idea where he was going to take me, after all, so how was I supposed to choose? If I picked a dress, not a backless one, of course, considering that I still had that bluish-green bruise on my back, I could only hope he wouldn't want to take me on a tour through the city. If, on the other hand, I'd go for convenient instead of classy, I'd look pretty stupid if he took me to a restaurant. I could only make the wrong choice, it seemed.

"Hey, Berry!"

The words, cold as ice, tore me from my thoughts. They were exactly the same he'd used on Monday, thus easily bringing back the memory. Careless. The word sliced through my mind. Only for a few short minutes, I had been careless, worrying about my wardrobe instead of watching out for bullies. I could have kicked myself, but then again I suspected that Azimio would take care of the matter anyway.

"How come we haven't talked the last few days?"

The question sounded almost casual, and I had to admit that Azimio apparently had some kind of wicked sense of humor, even though his jokes were the last thing I was going to laugh about. I tried to keep calm. The parking lot still was not completely empty, although I realized that I must have stood next to my car way longer than I had imagined, thinking about dresses and jeans, and a lot of people had already gone.

"Seems like our paths haven't crossed quite some time." I answered as calmly as I possibly could, starting to rummage through my bag in order to find the keys to my car.

"What a pity." Azimio whispered with that evil tone I believed to be originally his. I knew the situation was getting dangerous and let out a deep breath as my fingers touched the cold metal of the key. Quickly, I grabbed it and unlocked my car. And, for a short moment, I foolishly believed that Azimio would let me get in my car and escape. Of course he didn't. I felt his hand on my wrist, a touch that unfortunately felt all too familiar. He spun me around and pressed my body against the door of my car. The feeling of being trapped made my heartbeat speed up instantly.

"How come I think you have been avoiding me?" He asked, grinning diabolically as he squeezed my wrist tightly. I gasped, and Azimio started to grin ever more broadly while his cold eyes locked with mine.

No one, absolutely no one, noticed what was going on. Azimio didn't shove me around or hit me, after all. If someone looked over to us, they would only see two people standing next to a tiny little car. That was hardly extraordinary.

Azimio's grip on my wrist tightened. I felt a stabbing pain, a mixture of the injuries he'd already given me earlier and the pressure he exerted right now. I bit my lip, holding his gaze. Yes, I still tried to play strong when I probably should have screamed and tried to pull somebody's attention towards us. But I could not, under any circumstances, let Azimio win. So I bore the pain, not daring to make the slightest sound. Then, suddenly, Azimio pulled my arm towards him, twisting my wrist. The pain that shot through my lower arm burned like fire and made me scream immediately. I heard Azimio's deep laughter. That, and steps. He went. Thank God he went away.

I got in my car as fast as I could and locked it from the inside. I shut my eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. In and out, in and out. I just sat there like that for a few minutes, waiting for the pain and the panic to fade away. The pain did not. My wrist didn't stop burning like hell. But at least I stopped trembling. Then I opened my eyes and examined my wrist. It looked swollen, but I could move it. Although it hurt. But that, I told myself, would go away. Eventually it would.

I started the engine, released a deep breath and pulled out of the parking lot. I had a date to get ready for, after all.

I had decided on a dark brown skirt that was as short as I dared and a purple top that matched it perfectly as my outfit for the night. I'd figured that this outfit would match about any place he could take me to. My wavy hair fell loosely over my shoulders, covering my back. In case it got cold, I took my brown leatherette jacket, matching the skirt and the ankle boots in its color. The little makeup I'd chosen to wear consisted of mascara, black eyeliner and my favorite, dark rose lip gloss. The only accessory I wore was a bracelet on my right wrist that made it harder to realize that it was swollen. At least it didn't hurt any more. It only felt a little numb, but I could live with that. I would have to.

* * *

I was just checking my reflection in the mirror when I heard the sound of an engine that could very well belong to a Range Rover – the car the Vocal Adrenaline sponsors had, well, sponsored – and was already running down the stairs when the doorbell rang. I stopped briefly in front of the door and took a deep breath. Then I opened the door.

"Hi." He said, smiling at me. He was gorgeous. His clothing was simple, blue jeans, a black shirt, sneakers. Good thing I hadn't worn a dress.

"Hi." I said and returned the smile.

We remained silent for a while, just looking at each other.

"So, where are we going, actually?" I broke the silence.

"I'd thought about Breadstix." He said, insecurity seeping from the words. Yes, insecurity. Apparently he was genuinely worried that I wouldn't like his choice.

"Really?" I couldn't contain my amusement, although I knew that this wouldn't exactly soothe the nerves he was showing. "I wouldn't have imagined Jesse StJames going to Breadstix." I explained quickly when his eyebrows went up, which caused him to let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, it's a small town. So, is it okay with you?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes, of course."

"Well, then … let's go." He said, taking my hand and leading me to his car.

It was a wonderful evening. I didn't even remember the last time I'd felt this good. It almost felt like we were soul mates. We were both very gifted singers and dancers. We were both the stars of our groups. We both adored musical theatre. We were both ambitious, driven, determined to end up on Broadway stages. Never in my life had I met someone who truly understood what I wanted my future to be like and how I would do everything for it, and now I had a person who wanted exactly the same and who, too, did everything he could in order to reach his goals.

You would have thought we'd known each other for years.

The only thing that made me sad was that the evening was over far too soon. We got out of his car in front of my house, he took my hand, led me to the door like a perfect gentleman. That moment, I really believed he might be perfect, at least for me.

"So …" I said, sighing. I did not want this best time I had had in weeks – in months, actually – to be over yet.

"So …" He repeated, looking back at me. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I really had a lot of fun tonight." I said.

"So did I. And I really hope we can do this again."

"So do I."

The silence that followed our words didn't feel awkward or wrong. Neither of us moved – wanted to move – because we both did not want to go, but we both realized that we couldn't stay here, standing in front of the door, forever.

"So, you'll call me?" I asked, craving for a positive answer.

"Of course." He assured me, giving me his broad smile. His eyes locked with mine and I suddenly felt very warm. I barely dared to breathe when he bent down to me, hesitating only for a split second, and kissed me. The warmth I felt spread throughout my entire body until I thought I must be melting. When our mouths parted, I gasped.

Silence, again.

"You should probably get inside." He finally said. "Your parents will be waiting for you."

"Yeah, I think so." I said, reluctantly fumbling for my keys. "You promise you'll call me?"

"I do."

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_Don't you want to spill your thoughts on Rachel and Jesse's meeting/date?_


	4. How Come You Don't Call Me?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

****_Well, by now you probably know I'm not a native speaker, but I'm just gonna mention it again and also repeat my plea to tell me about any mistakes I might make._

_Also, have I mentioned how much I love reviews? All of them? Even if they just say "I like this!", they really brighten up my day, so ... You know what to do if you wanna make me happy!  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 4**

**-** **How Come You Don't Call Me? -**

The weekend passed without one single call from Jesse. Every now and then my cell phone would vibrate, causing me to jump up from either my bed or my chair, or storm out of the bathroom and run into several pieces of furniture just to fetch it from the bedside table and read a message that was either from a New Directions member or one of my dads. Then I would carelessly toss the phone back in its place and try to stifle the growing disappointment and frustration, telling myself that as a singer of national fame – which, of course, he was – he was probably very busy. Still I wished that he would just pick up the damn phone and finally call me, for Christ's sake.

Not surprisingly, I was not in the best mood when I entered McKinley High on Monday morning. All the kids bumping into me in the hallways did not exactly help, either, but at least I wouldn't have to watch out for bullies coming at me at any second when dozens of potential witnesses were crowded around me. Unfortunately, it turned out that such simple things as physically violent bullies would hardly be my biggest problem today, since, as I approached my locker, I noticed Finn standing in front of it. He was obviously waiting for me, judging by his searching glances up and down the hallway. He also was the last person I wanted to talk to right now.

I briefly wondered whether I could make it through at least the first lesson without the books stored in my locker, but eventually had to decide that there was no point in discussing a piece of French literature without having said piece of literature in front of me. My chances that he would just give up waiting for me and leave within the next few minutes were, as I knew, pretty bad because he knew that I never missed a day of school and I knew that he was stubborn and persistent enough to miss whatever class he had in order to wait for me if it seemed important to him. Apparently whatever he had to talk about was important enough, because I also knew that he rarely arrived at school earlier than a few minutes before his first class started and not half an hour in advance, as today. So I straightened my spine and walked over to my locker.

"Hi, Rachel." He greeted me as soon as he caught sight of me, giving me his slightly foolish grin. I knew him well, of course, given our strange relationship – I wasn't sure if we had ever been actually dating – so I recognized the gestures that had always betrayed his nervousness to me: his fingers plucking at his shirt and the facial expression, of course. His mouth was slightly open; his eyes almost empty as if he had withdrawn into some part of his mind where he was looking for the right words to say – well, whatever he wanted to say.

"Hi, Finn." I did not intend to sound as cold and distant as I did, but I couldn't help it.

"Look – I know you must be mad at me." He said, apparently not surprised at my tone and it was only then that I remembered that we had broken up only the week before. And I was not even mad because of the whole thing – including the supposedly indispensible search for his "inner rock star" – anymore, mostly because it felt as if all that had been years ago. Now, I could look at Finn without being heartbroken and see him for who he was: a truly good guy, surely, but other than that merely a mediocre singer and football player – not to mention his dancing. He also had never stood out of the masses because of his enormous intellect. Actually, I had to wonder how I ever could have thought that he was the ideal boyfriend for me.

"But please, Rach listen to me." He went on talking as I opened my locker, rummaging through the pile of books inside it. Then he took a deep breath, which, as I knew, indicated that he was coming to the point. "I think I've realized that I really want to be with you."

I closed my locker and turned around to look at Finn. "But I don't, Finn." I said, trying to keep the cold out of my voice. I did not want to be mean, but I also did not want to have to justify myself. "Look, actually I think you did me a favor breaking up with me. We were never meant for each other."

The sad look on his face made me feel guilty. I had not exactly given him reasons to keep his hopes down in the past. "Why would you ever say that?" He asked as if he couldn't make sense of the words I'd just said. "Are you seeing someone else?"

"Even if I were, that would be none of your business." I answered, hoping that this would erase his suspicions. I didn't know for sure, however, because all I could see in his eyes were hurt and sadness. Did he really have to give me a guilty conscience?

"Well, if you change your mind …" He said, smiling wearily. I managed to smile back just as wearily, trying to tell him all the things I couldn't put into words through my eyes. That it wasn't his fault and that I didn't want to hurt him on purpose.

"I won't." I said. "See you in glee club."

"Yeah, see you there." I heard him mutter some seconds after I had turned around and started to walk off to my French class.

* * *

When I was driving home from school, I thought about this week's glee task: choosing a song – any song – that showed how we felt. Granted, this was not a very creative task, but Mr. Schue had a point if you considered that expressing your feelings was the very core of what glee club should be about. I think I would have chosen Alicia Keys' "How Come You Don't Call Me" if it hadn't been for two reasons.

Firstly, I still did not want any member of the New Directions to find out about the fact that I was dating the Vocal Adrenaline lead singer. I had a feeling that they would not be thrilled about it, since we would definitely be competing against VA at Regionals.

Secondly, the first thing I saw when I turned into the street where my dads had decided to build a small house many years ago was a black Range Rover parked in front of said house.

What I felt when I realized that he had actually come instead of called was a mixture of joy and relief. Relief, of course, because I almost had feared I would never again hear a word from him after two days without a single call or even a text message. Maybe I should have been angry at him, but it was almost impossible because I was just so pleased to see him, actually sitting on the front steps and waiting for me.

He jumped up as soon as I got out of my car, rushing towards me and taking my hand which fit perfectly into his. Instantly, I felt warm again. "You could have called once during the last few days, you know." I told him, smiling.

"So you missed me?" He teased.

"Terribly." I admitted.

"Well, here I am. Do with me whatever will please you, mistress." He said, making pretence at sounding solemn. We both burst into laughter at once.

"Well, I suppose you could come in for a start." I said, fishing my keys out of my bag. "My dads will not be home for some hours."

He followed me inside and up to my room, where we sat on the bed next to each other. "I'm really sorry I didn't call. But coach Corcoran decided to have us rehearse 24 hours a day on the weekend after seeing you sing at Sectionals." He apologized, his eyes begging me to understand and not get mad.

"Ah, so now it's my fault." I joked.

"Maybe." He smiled. "Do you even realize how truly extraordinary you are?" He suddenly asked without any kind of preamble, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me closer. Immediately, the blood in my veins seemed to start to boil at the touch of our bodies and the compliment he'd just paid me. I snuggled against him, once again wondering how easy everything was between the two of us.

"I'm no more extraordinary than you are." I answered, returning the compliment. Then I leaned in to kiss him. It felt like an eternity until we finally parted, looking each other straight in the eyes. He looked as happy as I felt. This made my smile even brighter.

We spent the whole afternoon together, talking, laughing, watching _Funny Girl_, singing and, yes, making out until I had to tell him to go because my dads might come home at any minute and I did not want them to find out that I already had a new boyfriend when I had only just broken up with Finn. I had a feeling that they would not understand, either, just as the New Directions would not. Jesse would have to be my little secret, and I did not mind that at all.

Before he left this time, however, I made him give me his cell phone number so I wouldn't have to wait for him to call me, just in case "Coach Corcoran" decided to have them rehearse 24 hours a day again.

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_Oh, come on. You know you can't leave this page before you leave a review._


	5. Web Of Lies

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Usual bla-bla: No, I haven't magically transformed into a native speaker, so I'd still love for you to help me improve by pointing out my mistakes._

_Also, review. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really love reviews.  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 5**

**- Web Of Lies -**

School on Tuesday had gone okay, I guess. I hadn't been slushied (or worse), and the worst thing that had happened to me was that Finn had sung some I-still-love-her-song for the feelings-assignment in glee club, which had obviously been directed at me.

He still managed to give me a weird, guilty feeling. I knew that he deserved an explanation, but there was no way I could give him one. I mean, what was I supposed to say? Something like: _Hey Finn, I kinda dumped you because I started dating the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline. Yep, that's the team we're up against at Regionals. _

I don't know if it was just me, but I couldn't see him taking that very well. He'd probably spread the word faster than I could do damage control – which I really wish wouldn't be necessary, but I knew most of the others would freak at the idea of my being with the enemy – and I really didn't want to put up with the consequences of what that might mean. So I guiltily stared at the wall behind him throughout most of his performance. I noticed the looks everyone was giving me, though. They all looked at me with similar mixtures of curiosity and suspicion. Great. Just great.

I was forced to hurry out of the choir room as soon as the bell rang, before Kurt could voice the words that were bound to be behind his questioning gaze. I practically ran down the hallways (but not carelessly enough to be surprised by bullies that might lurk in the shadows) and therefore reached the doors of the giant, but ugly building that was McKinley High fast. Then I stopped, next to the trashcans in which Kurt had so often been tossed – by Noah, to be specific, before he had joined New Directions – and tried to collect my thoughts.

I owed Finn an explanation.

The rest of the glee club suspected I was up to something they would not approve of.

I couldn't tell anyone about Jesse.

These three thoughts were clear in my mind, and, sadly, I knew that the third one was most important to me. Even if it meant I could not fulfill the first one. Even though it was the reason for the suspicions in the second one. I sighed, trying to figure out the impossible: how to get out of this mess.

"I guess you've been missing me, haven't you?" Since I recognized his voice at once, the words had me freeze in terror. I realized that Azimio had, once again, found me in a place where I was alone with him and the two hockey-jocks that seemed to accompany him almost everywhere he went. I turned around to face them, searching for some kind of cocky answer, but I didn't have time to think. The slushy hit me instantly. I gasped at the familiar touch of the cold liquid, forcing myself not to crumble, when they did something that utterly and completely surprised me. They simply passed me by.

"Have a nice day, Berry!" Azimio called over his shoulder.

Sure, it was mean. Sure, I wouldn't have this happen to anyone else. But only getting slushied, after everything that had happened during the last couple of weeks, filled me with relief. I'd expected far worse.

I looked down at my shirt that now had one large stain of red slushie on it. With a sigh I realized that I would have to go back to my locker to change right now. So I turned around and made my way back to the entrance of the school, when I heard somebody call after me, making me freeze again at once.

"Rachel, wait!" I looked over my shoulder to see Jesse jog toward me. I let out a groan. Figuring that running away from him wouldn't be a good thing to do, I turned around to face him. He came to a halt right in front of me. His eyes were, naturally, instantly drawn to the bright red slushie-stain on my shirt. Something unreadable crossed his face, before he asked in cold, clipped words, as if he was actually having trouble controlling himself: "What happened, Rachel?"

I should have told him then. I should have swallowed my misplaced pride and just told him. But I just couldn't. "It's nothing, really. I simply accidentally spilled my slushy. I was just heading to my locker to get changed. I still have some – uh – clothes for PE there."

The lie rang loud in my ears, and I didn't expect him to buy it. I didn't believe he bought it for one second. But he didn't press me any further, at least not right then.

"Well, I was coming to pick you up, but you really better get changed first. I'll accompany you, though." He said matter-of-factly. At the thought of him accompanying me – which meant that Azimio couldn't cause me any further harm for now - I breathed a sigh of relief there was no way he could miss. He gave me a strange look, but didn't say anything. Instead, he put his hand around my waist and held me carefully, as if I might break.

My feet found the way to my locker of their own accord, and it wasn't far to go to the ladies' restroom from there. Jesse didn't say a word on the entire way. I felt that his body was unusually tense and I knew he sensed that something was wrong. I would have to tell him eventually. I would, probably, have to tell him quite soon. But I had no idea how to do that.

He let go of me as I slipped into the ladies' restroom. "I'll be quick." I promised. He just nodded.

I removed the cold, soaked shirt from my freezing body immediately. Then I replaced it with the shirt that had been in my locker – which was clearly not suitable for PE. It was low cut (for me) and decorated with little white plastic pearls all over. I shrugged at my mirror image. "Jesse didn't buy the lie, anyway." I told the me in the mirror. She looked tired, and now that I thought about it, that was how I felt.

I was tired of hiding and lying. I'd somehow slipped into a web of lies too big for me to handle, what with hiding Jesse from my friends and my dads and hiding the bullying from everyone. Still, I didn't think I could just tell the truth. Not about the bullying. Not about Jesse.

When I got out of the bathroom, Jesse bit his lip in an expression that can only be described as concern. As soon as he saw the door open, however, his expression sobered and he looked at me. He gave me one brief nod, apparently content with the fact that I looked whole and healthy again, now that there was no red slushie all over my clothes to betray the attack and I wasn't trembling from the cold liquid on my skin anymore. I gave him a long look, begging him to understand that I couldn't tell him, not now, not yet. He just gave me a sad look in return and then, as he'd done before, put his arm around my waist.

He didn't feel as tense as before, so I dared to lean into him. It felt good to have him protect me, for that was what he was actually doing. It felt so good that I was completely lost in thoughts about Jesse and me and didn't notice them at first. Finn and Noah, turning the corner of the hallway we were walking down, coming straight toward us.

"Rachel? What –" Finn's voice pulled me out of the state of peace I'd been starting to feel comfortable in. But I didn't realize what this situation meant at first. My mind was still heavy with Azimio and Jesse and how I even lied to him …

"I knew it!" He cried out, and it was at the realization of how deeply I must have hurt him that I was pulled out of any other thoughts and focused entirely on him. "How could you do this? Why?"

I felt Jesse's grip tighten around my waist as I met Finn's eyes. There was nothing I could say that wouldn't hurt him even more.

"Dude, relax." Noah said, putting one hand on Finn's shoulder. "She's not your girlfriend anymore."

I felt Jesses questioning gaze on me, but chose, for now, to ignore it and put Finn on the "what-I-still-need-to-tell-you"-pile, along with the bullying.

"Noah's right, Finn." I said, still waiting for the hell that would break loose the moment the two of them realized who this guy in whose arm I was wrapped was. Thankfully, Jesse kept his mouth shut, so they couldn't recognize his voice.

Then I got it. They hadn't been in the glee club last year, and there was no way they had been über interested in show choir for some other reason. They didn't know him. A wave of relief washed over me as I realized that they did not know who Jesse StJames was.

"I just –" Finn trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished. I swallowed hard. I had never meant to cause him pain. But I had. And there was nothing I could do to heal him.

"You need to get over this, Finn." I told him in a tone that was, as I hoped, reasonable enough for Jesse to be reassured that Finn was no threat to him and empathetic enough for Finn to comprehend that I did care about him – as a friend, though.

"I couldn't have said it any better." Noah said, grabbing Finn's arm. "And I think we need to get out of here." He half shoved and half pulled him past Jesse and me. I made a mental note to thank him the next time I saw him.

As soon as I could not hear the sound of their steps anymore, I looked up at Jesse, who was staring down at me in return. "That's your ex-boyfriend?" He asked, sounding incredulous.

"Well, it's a little more complicated than that." I answered, and when he frowned, went on to explain. "He had a pregnant girlfriend when the _thing _we had started. Recently, he found out that he is not the father, but Noah is. So he thought now he could date me."

"Wait, Noah, that's the one who was just with him?" Jesse asked, utterly confused.

"Right." I said, only then realizing that Finn and Noah had seemingly made up.

"So, now the only thing you still need to tell me is who it was that spilt that slushy all over you." He changed the topic all of a sudden.

I swallowed hard. "No one did. I spilt it. Accidentally."

He sighed and gave me a look that clearly told me that we were not done talking about this. "Well, then at least let me drive you home."

I nodded, and we made our way to the parking lot, while I was safely tucked into his arm.

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_Just leave a quick review. Please? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? *puppy dog eyes*_


	6. Confronted

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Well, I know I've kept you guys waiting for quite some time by now, and I apologize for that. To make up for it, here's an extra-long chapter. Not a lot of Jesse in here (sorry again), but Rachel will definitely sort some stuff out with him in the next one. _

_I promise I'll try to update more frequently now. Note: Reviews always guilt me into writing more. Plus, I really like to hear all of your thoughts and on my stories and your guesses on how they may progress, whether they are accurate or not.  
_

_One last thing: As you may have noticed, English is not my first language. So, if you find any grave errors in my stories, especially ones I make regularly, I'd be glad if you informed me so I don't do it again.  
_

_So, now go read and, hopefully, enjoy!  
_

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**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 6**

**- Confronted -**

I didn't sleep well that night. As I turned and shifted in my bed, all I could think about was the web of lies I had maneuvered myself into and that it was way too big for me to handle. I was caught up. In hindsight, I'd probably expected that all of this would come back at me someday, had only waited for everything to blow up in my face, because I'd known that, eventually, it would happen. Now the inevitable had happened, the explosion had started and it threatened to consume everything I had in my life.

By everything, I meant the New Directions and Jesse.

There are some key moments in life, the one's you thought back to and wanted to build a future on, the one's you'd consider the foundation of what your life would become. It seemed to me like yesterday when I had told Mr. Shue on that memorable first day of ND rehearsals, after I'd stormed out of the choir room because of the horrible attempt at "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat" we'd delivered, that I wanted to do something with my time in high school and that being part of something special made you special. Ever since, I truly had considered the New Directions "something special", not only because of the truly extraordinary lack of singing and dancing skills some of them showed, but also – and, as I had to admit, mainly – because of the amazing things we achieved on stage as a group of people, even though most of us weren't perfect singers or dancers.

I didn't want to lose that. I didn't think I could bear to lose that.

But I'd also had one of these moments with Jesse, when I'd first met him merely two weeks ago and wondered how it seemed that I knew him so well, how our conversation could be so even. By now, I was almost certain that he was my soul mate, the missing piece to the complicated puzzle that was my life. It already felt as if there was no way I could ever survive if someone dared to remove that puzzle piece.

I couldn't possibly lose Jesse.

"But what am I going to do?" I had meant to whisper the words to myself, but they came out a lot louder than I had intended. I was frustrated. Until now, I had always known what to do, how to act in every single situation. Yes, my choices might have been bold and even selfish at times, they might have hurt others and might have had unpleasant consequences. I remembered all of that. But I had always seen the one clear alternative that, in my mind, was the right thing to do. Even with all the repercussions my actions had had up to now, I had always been at peace with the decisions I'd made.

Now, I didn't know.

The problem was that I already knew I couldn't make the _right _decision. I couldn't clean up this mess and make everyone happy. It was as clear as day that the New Directions would never approve of my being with Jesse and Jesse …

Well, Jesse was furious. I had let him drive me home, and he hadn't said a word on the entire way. He hadn't even looked at me. But I'd seen his knuckles turn white because of his tight grip on the steering wheel, the tension in all of his muscles, I had seen him clenching and unclenching his jaw. Yes, it had scared me, although I knew his fury hadn't been directed at me. But at that moment, it had seemed that he was ready to kill the person who had done "this" to me once he found out their name. And he'd only guessed at the slushying so far.

No, I hadn't told him yet, but I knew I would have to. Soon.

And I would have to tell the New Directions something, too. I knew Finn wouldn't keep his mouth shut and spread the word of our encounter in the hallway. They'd ask questions for sure, and I didn't know how to answer them yet. Hell, I wouldn't ever know, even if I lay awake all night thinking about it.

And I did.

I dreaded the next day. As soon as the first ray of sun fell through my window, however, I jumped out of bed as if I couldn't wait for it to start.

They _avoided _me. The longer the day lasted, the more certain I got of it.

The signs were clear. I didn't meet any glee clubbers in the hallway before first period started and breathed a sigh of relief at what I considered a lucky coincidence. At first. However, I had first period, French, with Kurt and I had been certain of the fact that he – gossip queen that he was – would rush up to my table and start grilling me for information the moment I entered the classroom. Therefore, I'd timed my arrival perfectly, setting foot into the room the very moment the bell rang. Our teacher, Miss Lannoy, gave me a reproachful look, but I didn't care because I still considered myself lucky for delaying the awful scene that I knew was to come. I shot a brief glance in Kurt's direction – after, of course, I had put a mask of perfect innocence on my face – and froze. He sat straight in his chair like a perfect schoolboy, eyes to the front. He didn't even so much as sneak a glance at me. That was when I first got suspicious. I checked every five minutes, but I didn't catch him looking at me once. Huh.

_So, Finn hasn't told him. Yet. _Somehow, I could convince myself that this must be it, that he just didn't know yet and didn't ignore me on purpose. Well, it worked only for so long.

On my way to second period, history, I ran into Mercedes in the hallway. Because I was twice as observant as usual today – watching out for bullies and ND members – I saw her first, and thus I noticed the moment she saw me and looked away. She passed me by without so much as a greeting, which left me staring at her, agape, until she turned around the corner and was out of my sight. I couldn't believe it. The loudest, most outspoken member of the glee club – except for me – knew about it, she knew and kept her mouth shut.

_Well, maybe she didn't want to cause a scene in the crowded hallway. _

No, I couldn't make myself believe that. I took in a deep breath, trying to drown out the bad premonition I was starting to have. And went on to history, where I knew I'd meet the unholy trinity, who didn't seem to notice me. Santana and Brittany made their usual jokes about Quinn's need to find maternity clothing, and Quinn, as usual ever since Jacob Ben Israel had made her pregnancy public, sat in her table, silent, ignoring everyone around her.

_Well, at least it isn't only me for her. _I thought with a touch of gallows humor.

By the time lunch break started, I was sure they were up to something. Everyone had continued the pattern Kurt had started in the morning, even Puck and Finn, the only two people that I knew first-hand knew about what they must be thinking of as nothing more of "Rachel's new boyfriend" at the time. Granted, I had been surprised that Finn had been able to keep up the act.

It scared me. I contemplated not having lunch in the cafeteria – I had to take into account the opportunity that they might be waiting there, trying to somehow set me up – but I knew I needed someone between my teeth to regain the energy that I lacked due to staying up almost all night. Sooner or later, I was going to have to take what was coming at me anyway. So, I made my way to the cafeteria, bracing myself for the situation that awaited me.

As I entered the cafeteria and glanced over to the table the glee club usually used, I swear my heart literally skipped a beat. They weren't there. They hadn't come. I swallowed hard, trying desperately to making sense of this situation.

It was out of question that they were definitely up to something.

Our table wasn't deserted, though. Since the New Directions hadn't shown up, the kids that were even below us in the pecking order – read: Jacob Ben Israel and the AV-Club – had quickly conquered the vacant table. Well, there certainly was no way I would have lunch next to the Jewfro creep. I sighed, decided to quickly grab some vegan chocolate bars to refill at least some of my energy, and made my way to the choir room. I knew that was where I had to go, I knew they expected me to show up, and I was tired of the hide-and-seek.

They were there, all of them – except for Mr. Shue, of course – already seated in the red plastic chairs that were a lot more convenient than they looked, and every single one faced the door so their ice-cold looks sliced through me the moment I stepped into the room.

"Have a seat, Rachel." Kurt said commandingly, pointing towards a chair they had dragged into the middle of the room, facing all of them. _Calm down. _I told myself as I moved forward and, keeping my head up and looking all of them in the eye, one by one, sat down on the chair.

Kurt nodded and gave Finn a look that was obviously his cue. "Why don't you take a look over your shoulder, Rachel?" He asked. Well, they'd certainly practiced their dramatics. I did as he'd asked, however, and froze. On Mr. Shue's blackboard, the one he always wrote down the core words to his weekly assignments on, there was a photo, pinned to it with two magnets. It showed Vocal Adrenaline on stage, obviously during a performance since the dancers were in the middle of what seemed like a pretty tough choreography. In the center of the picture, there was Jesse, singing his heart out.

_How could they have found out? How did they …_

"Do you recognize this, Rachel?" Finn asked, and I knew it was over.

"Well, that's Vocal Adrenaline, our competition at Regionals." I said lamely.

"And Jesse StJames, their lead singer." Mercedes added, giving me a don't-play-the-clueless-one look.

"Finn and Puck have told us that they met you with a guy in the hallway yesterday, and we couldn't figure out very many reasons for you not to rub your new boyfriend in our faces." Santana spoke up. "They described him pretty well, and Lady Hummel's research led to a clear result."

Kurt. Of course it was him. I nodded, more to myself then to them, coming to terms with the fact that they knew. Although I had dreaded this moment, I felt almost relieved now. One less thing I had to hide. When I noticed the silence in the room had lasted to long, I realized that they were waiting for me to say something.

"I am not going to break up with Jesse." I stated.

"Oh, come on, Rachel! Don't you find it in the least bit strange that just after we've won Sectionals, the lead singer of the competition starts showing an interest in you?" Quinn groaned in frustration. "He's playing you, can't you see that?"

"Yeah. Come on, Berry, I never thought you were that stupid." Puck supported her.

"Okay, just to straighten this out" I started, feeling myself get angrier at them with every word. "None of you, except Finn and Puck, have ever seen Jesse, and they didn't exactly take the time to get to know him at that time. Now I understand that you can only think about him as our competition at Regionals, but you do not know him as a person. Finn, I get that you are jealous and that you arranged this" I gestured around the room, at the people staring at me accusingly, at the blackboard with the VA picture and lastly at my lonely chair "to get back at me, but you need to get over this. And, once again, I am not going to break up with Jesse, whether you think he's playing me or not."

"You're mad." Matt said, sadly shaking his head.

"Well, if you're not going to break up with him …" Tina started.

"… you're going to have to leave the New Directions." Artie finished for her.

"Wait, what?" I jumped up from my chair. "You cannot kick me out. Mr. Shue will not allow this!"

"Really?" Finn sneered. "Well, I for once don't think he'll be thrilled about your relationship, either."

"He'll have to deal." I countered. "You'll all have to deal. I'm not breaking up with Jesse, and you can't kick me out."

With my last words, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch break. "Well, I guess Mr. Shue will come here soon." I said, getting up from the place in the middle of the room and putting the chair back in its usual place, taking a seat in the middle of my teammates and, for now, enemies. "Let's see what he has to say about this."

I leaned back, waiting for Mr. Shue to come and finally talk some sense into the heads of the New Directions.

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_Thoughts?_


	7. Crazy In Love?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Hey guys! See, I meant it when I said I would be updating more frequently.  
_

_Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed and/or favorited this story. You're the people I'm writing for!  
_

_The big talk between Rachel and Jesse delays, but you get some Jesse POV in this chapter.  
_

_As always, reviews guilt me into writing more + watch out for any errors a non-native speaker would make. Enjoy!  
_

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**New Adrenaline  
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**Chapter 7  
**

**- Crazy (In Love)? -  
**

He had been excused from VA rehearsals, of course. If he had asked, he could even have taken the entire day off. Coach Corcoran was, after all, the most influential teacher at Carmel, she was the person who ran the prestigious show choir that had, more often than not, made it to Nationals and even won them the last three years in a row. They had brought the school prestige and, more importantly, money, and Shelby Corcoran could afford to do just about anything. She had made sure that he got all the freedom he needed to succeed on her "mission", and he gladly accepted all of it.

Little did she know that he did not use his privileges in her favor any more, not primarily, at the very least. He had meant to, really, he had. Coach Corcoran paid him well, and she knew as well as he knew how his brief but pleasant (at least for him) relationships with girls usually played out. Admittedly, she had used the words "Befriend her.", not "Seduce her.", but they had both known exactly what was going to happen. So, he had settled for making good use of his seduction skills, his movie-star looks – no, it was not arrogant to think so himself, for many girls (and even, occasionally, boys) had confirmed that truth for him – his charm, his voice and, of course, his unbelievable amount of sheer confidence. He had had it all planned out for him.

He just had not expected her to be _her._ He had never expected to meet someone like her just around the corner, in Lima, Ohio. The most talented, most beautiful, most driven, most ambitious, most competitive girl he had ever met; the biggest diva and drama-queen he knew (apart from himself, that is). She was everything he was and more. To him, she was beautiful and he could not believe that anyone in the world could not see her that way. She was a shining star, and, for some strange reason, she had to walk the hallways of this High School that was ever so ungrateful for having her, packed with people that seemed determined to destroy her light.

He could barely stand it. Yesterday, when he had seen her in the parking lot, her clothes and part of her skin covered in the ice-cold drink, he had wanted nothing more than to find the person who had done this and make them suffer. His hands still clenched to fists just at the thought of the stranger who had dared to lay hands on her.

_Breathe, _he told himself, trying to get his pulse down to a normal level, as he climbed into the driver's seat of his black Range Rover and pulled out of the Carmel High parking lot, while his teammates were still in the Auditorium trying to master a choreography he already knew by heart. He left the Carmel district, heading to a part of Lima that was still not at all familiar to him. The only two places he knew there were her school and her house. His destination today was the latter one, but he chose to find a parking spot a little away from it so she wouldn't see his car first thing when she made the turn into the street herself.

He walked the last few hundred meters to her house, picked up the key that was hidden beneath the plant pot and let himself in. Ironically, he had asked her to convince her dads to find a better hiding place or, preferably, not have a key lying in front of the door at all, just a few days ago, not liking the idea that basically just any stranger could enter the their house with little effort. For a brief moment, he had worried that she might already put his words into action. But she had not, and so he made good use of that key himself today.

Since her dads were not at home – he pretty much knew their work schedule by heart now, thanks to Rachel – he did not bother attempting to be quiet or look out for them as he made his way to her room and made himself comfortable there. He knew she was probably still at the New Directions' rehearsal and would not be coming home for quite some time, but when she did, he would be waiting for her.

She would tell him then. She just had to.

* * *

The look Mr. Shue's face quickly changed into when he entered the room made it obvious that he realized something was wrong, even though I was not sitting in the middle of the room like a (juvenile) culprit in a bad crime thriller, while the investigating officers – also known as the rest of the New Directions – were trying to get some kind of confession out of me. Probably it was the expectant glances everyone, including myself, was giving him, now that he was the one who would have to pass a judgment in this, though he himself did not know it yet.

"What's up, guys?" He asked in his best empathetic-teacher-voice, although I could hear some concern beneath that, too. I had already decided to keep my mouth shut, _at first_, and let the others lay out the details on the unthinkable crime I had committed.

"Why don't _you _tell him, Rach?" Finn shot in my direction.

"Yeah. You're always so quick to voice your thoughts on other occasions, Berry. Come on. Spill." Santana prompted me, bitch-mode definitely turned on.

"Rachel?" Mr. Shue gave me the word, clearly taken aback by the hostility the others directed at me. He must have realized that this was a lot more than the occasional fight over a solo.

"I have done _nothing _wrong." I said, not answering Mr. Shue's initial question, but making a clear point. My statement had all of the others speak up at the same time, all of their accusations and insults intermingling, their voices filling the entire room. I silently thanked god that this room, being designed for musical education, was soundproof. Otherwise, whoever was in the neighboring classrooms would probably already be here.

"Guys!" Mr. Shue yelled out, shutting everyone up at once. Then, giving everyone a cold look, he started one of his speeches. "Some of the words you just used, I don't want you to use again. Not in this room and, preferably, not ever. Especially not directed at one of your teammates." He said with every emphasis. "And Santana, you seem to have forgotten that at least I do understand Spanish." He added, giving the latina a slightly disturbed look.

"So, is there one person in this room who can tell me what in the world caused this scene, calmly and withoutinsulting anyone in this room? Yeah, Quinn?" He directed his attention toward the blond, pregnant ex-cheerio as she raised her hand.

"Rachel seems to be in a relationship with Jesse StJames, lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline." She said coolly.

"I see." Mr. Shue nodded, taking in the piece of information Quinn had just given him. "Is that true Rachel?" He asked for confirmation.

"Yes." I answered truthfully. "I do not, however, see the problem my _teammates_" I emphasized, turning around in my chair to give everyone a pointed look. "try to construct." When everyone started to talk at the same time again, without, however, using bad language – or at least not as much – Mr. Shue just lifted a hand to silence them again.

"Well, I … I honestly don't know what to say." Mr. Shue finally put down his bag on the grand piano the way he always did, pulling out a chair to sit down with us.

"We know." Kurt spoke up. "We want to vote her out of the club, but we need your okay to do so, Mr. Shue." He said in dead earnest.

"Wait, what?" Mr. Shue said, looking at Kurt as if he had lost his mind. "No!"

At Mr. Shue's words, I felt some of the tension that had built in my body throughout the entire day loosen. He would not allow them to vote me out of ND. Which was actually a big relief. Yes, I had definitely needed a reasonable adult to deal with the pile of completely gone crazy teammates that had confronted me.

"It's the only option we have, Mr. Shue." Finn said, sounding slightly desperate. "She won't break up with him. She can't see through his act. It's freaking obvious he's a spy!" He cried out in frustration.

Mr. Shue took a deep breath. "Yes, I can see that problem. Rachel, you're such a reasonable girl. Most of the time." He added the last part after several people had snorted. "Hasn't that thought crossed your mind?"

"Look, guys" I said, trying to sound as reasonable as I could as I got up so I could turn around and face all of them, including Mr. Shue. "I know I don't have to worry about Jesse. I just _know_. Why can't you just trust me on this?" I begged them.

"Yeah, how could your I'm-so-crazy-in-love-actions _not_ make us trust you?" Santana answered sarcastically. "'I'm not going to break up with him!'" She repeated my earlier words, mocking me by half-imitating the complete seriousness with which I had spoken them.

"Can't you see that all of this could lead up to a debacle similar to what we experienced at Sectionals?" Tina tried to reason with me, and I was actually glad about that. She was the first one not to insult me or make fun of my relationship with Jesse, but voiced what must be a great fear to her in a calm voice. That was probably what led me to giving her a calm and more serious answer that would, hopefully, diminish the out-of-order worries all of my ND-teammates seemed to have.

"Tina – and everyone else, for that matter – I realize that you cannot think of Jesse as anything else as a spy. But, as I have already said, only two of you have ever met him in person, and none of you have ever really talked to him. You have no right to judge him, or our relationship." I told them. "You know how committed to this club I am. You know that winning with New Directions is basically everything I live for. I can promise you that I will not allow Jesse to sabotage our chances. I will not give him any insider information that is relevant for the competition. That has to be good enough for you."

As I had finished my little speech, Mr. Shue stood up. "Sit back down Rachel." He said. I did as he had told me and took the chair in the middle of the New Directions back. I noticed that Mike, Matt, Tina and Artie, Santana and Brittany were whispering to each other. Mercedes, Kurt, Quinn and Puck just looked at me curiously. All of them seemed, although still sceptical, less accusing towards me. Me pouring my heart about how much I felt for this club out in front of everybody had apparently made quite an impact.

"Good. I'm glad you have all calmed down." Mr. Shue said, addressing everyone. "Rachel, I can't say I'm happy about your being involved with the enemy." He told me, seriously and honestly. "But I can't tell you what to do in your personal life."

"Wait! You can't just be okay with it!" Finn cried out. "He's our enemy! Mr. Shue!" He turned to our Coach for help. "He will do anything to take advantage from this … relationship." He spat out the last word.

"Finn, Rachel has just promised to not let that happen." Mr. Shue tried to calm his male lead down. "And she's right about one thing, we can't judge this boy without having met him." He added.

"No. I will not let that happen." Finn said, with pure determination seeping from his voice. "I'm dropping out of glee club as of now." He announced. "You can't compete without me. Even if I was not the male lead. Without me, you are not twelve people. You won't even be allowed to enter a stage." He said, sounding completely vicious. Then, he addressed me directly. "You said you're not going to let your new beau influence the New Directions' chances at winning. Well, I'm not coming back before you break up with him. Think about it."

After having finished his rant, he stormed out of the room, leaving the rest of us completely stunned.

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_Please review! Reviews really have the potential to brighten up my day. My muse feeds off them. So, give me your thoughts!_


	8. A way out?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

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_Lots of Jesse in this chapter - to make up for the last ones (at least for the shippers among you, because, as I now know, there actually are people who really read this because they think its a good story). Hope you'll like it, and if you do, please tell me about it in a review (you can, of course, also review if you don't like it). _**  
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_Thanks to everyone who read (and still reads), reviewed, followed and favorited this story! Especially the review guys though, you are the best!  
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_Again, I am not a native speaker, so if you find any mistakes I make regularly, please tell me about them!  
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_And now: enjoy!  
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**New Adrenaline**_  
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**Chapter 8  
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**- A way out? -  
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Mr. Shue then cancelled the remaining hour of rehearsal, stammering something about the need to do some rearrangements. I could tell that Finn's behavior had hit him hard, as could everybody else in the room. I did, quite frankly, expect them to blame me, to tell me that my egoism had finally succeeded at what Sue Sylvester had dedicated her life to, fruitlessly up until now - bringing the New Directions down. But, to my surprise, they did not turn on me for a second. They did not do a happy dance and engulf me in a giant group hug either, but they obviously did not load the responsibility for Finn's overreaction on me.

Not that it mattered. The concern was evident on their faces, and I knew that this was what Finn had wanted. He had known that this club could not work without him – even if he had not been considered a valuable member, it was simply in terms of numbers – and he had used that against me. It did not matter that it was not directly my fault. When it came right down to it, these were the repercussions of my relationship with Jesse that threatened to destroy the New Directions.

_You said you're not going to let your new beau influence the New Directions' chances at winning. Well, I'm not coming back before you break up with him._

He was blackmailing me. He had taken the oath I had given my teammates - one I had sincerely meant to adhere to - and turned it against me. For now my only chance to keep my promise was to break up with Jesse.

How could anyone's mind be so twisted?

I could not remember the last time anyone in this club had actually tried to comfort me, at least without an ulterior motive, and now that I seemed to finally bring it down, they did.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel." Kurt whispered, suddenly standing next to where I was still seated, frozen. He reached out for my hand and squeezed it, giving me a smile that was sad and apologetic at the same time. Mercedes, who had followed him, was clearly at a loss for words and just nodded, supporting Kurt's point of view.

"Don't worry, Berry. We all know that Hudson is the jerk here. Should I find him and go all Lima Heights on him?" Santana offered, not at all half-heartedly, as she joined us. I felt a smile tuck at the corners of my lips, but shook my head.

"That's typical of Finn." Quinn said matter-of-factly. "He doesn't get what he wants, freaks and tries to get back at you and everyone else he can affect. Trust me, I've dated him long enough to know that."

"Thank you, guys." I said, looking up at my teammates. "But I still feel awful for this. I … I promised I would not harm the New Directions, and I didn't mean to. I couldn't have foreseen this." All power had drained from my words; I could not even convey the frustration and hopelessness that threatened to eat me from the inside. My body felt like an empty shell. I got up slowly, smoothed my skirt more out of habit than necessity and, telling my friends goodbye, walked out of the choir room.

Mechanically, I went to my car, unlocked the door, opened it, climbed into the seat, closed the door behind me, put the seatbelt on and launched the engine. My radio turned itself on instantly and music filled the small driver's cab. It was a CD I'd put together myself some time ago, and, fittingly, _What I Did For Love _from _A Chorus Line_, one of my favorite ballads ever, was playing. I reveled in the music on my entire way home, thinking about just how appropriate the lyrics were considering the current situation.

_But I can't regret  
What I did for love_

Because after everything that had happened, and after everything it had brought me, I still did not regret having met Jesse StJames.

I parked the car directly in front of my house, not caring if my dads would complain about the imperfection with which I had hit the parking spot. Everything I knew was that I just had to get to the safety of my room. Everything else was secondary.

He was already there waiting for me. He sat on the chair in front of my desk, his head snapping around the moment I entered the room, his eyes fixated on mine. Not bothering with a greeting, I just gave him a weary smile, walked over to my bed that was standing in the middle of the room and collapsed heavily onto it.

This day had already been one of the most exhausting ones I could remember in my entire life – including the drama of every single singing and dancing competition I had ever taken part in – and I just knew he had come for the big talk. To get the truth out of me. I was already crumbling, not wanting or able to maintain a façade around him.

"Bad day?" He asked, eyeing my suspiciously, and I just nodded, wanting nothing more than to bury my head in the pillow, or, preferably, his chest while he held me and told me that everything was going to be ok.

"But you didn't get slushied again, did you?" He digged deeper, worry evident in his voice.

"No, I didn't." I answered, neither confirming nor denying his assumptions about me getting bullied on other occasions. He let out a long-suffering sigh, got up from the chair and sat down on my bed instead, directly next to where I was lying. He stroked some strands of my hair out of my face, giving me a sad smile, and at that moment I was nothing but glad for the touch of his fingers on the sensitive sking of my face.

"Do you still want to deny that that was what happened to you yesterday?" He asked, sounding nothing but compassionate. Our eyes met for an instant, and I shook my head. I could not keep lying to this one person in the world who really, truly, entirely loved me for who I was. At my silent admission I felt his body tense and reached out with one arm to touch his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"Don't." I pleaded.

"Don't what?" He said, half-mockingly, but concern still coloring his melodic voice. "You shouldn't be the one trying to comfort _me_, Rach. You're the one who has to put up with this crap."

I dropped my arm again, smiled at him gratefully and closed my eyes, feeling completely safe for the first time in months.

"Are you going to tell me their names?" He said after having rhythmically stroked my hair with his hands for quite some time, soothing my bruised soul a little more with each stroke.

"Does it matter?" I returned. "It's not like you can do anything about it."

I regretted the words as soon as I had said them, feeling his body tense once again.

"I could teach them a lesson." He replied through gritted teeth.

"You shouldn't. You would only get into trouble. I don't want to be responsible for that." I told him.

He remained silent, and although I had still had my eyes closed, I could feel him staring at me intensely for what felt like an eternity.

"Then transfer to Carmel." He finally said.

"What?" I cried out, sitting up in my bed so fast I almost caused him to fall off it. I instinctively reached out to steady him, although I realized that it would not have been necessary. "I can't do that!"

"Well, what else are you going to do?" He challenged me. "I certainly will not watch you crack under the weight of the actions of some idiots who cannot appreciate your talent. They will destroy you." Wow. That was how much he was truly, genuinely worried about me. He had often joked that, if I was on Vocal Adrenaline, we would make a pair of leads that would crush the competition before they could even open their mouths to sing. But he had never ask me to turn my back on McKinley and the New Directions until now, and even now he did not do it for reasons that were in the least bit selfish. His only desire was to protect me.

Still, I could not do it. So I shook my head frantically. Transferring, leaving everything I knew behind, had never occurred to me, not really, and it was also not really what I wanted. "It's impossible, Jesse. Even if I wanted to, I can never fulfill the requirements. I don't even live in the Carmel district." I reasoned.

"That's not a problem. If you auditioned for Vocal Adrenaline, they would find a way to get you. We have always recruited talented singers. We even have a few apartments rented out near the school for these cases. We could make it work." He argued, pointing out the solutions for all the formalities. And he did make it sound so easy, so tempting. As if I could solve all of my problems by going there. Maybe it would be for the best.

But I would be running away.

_I can promise you that I will not allow Jesse to sabotage our chances._

The words I had said earlier today, the promise I had made, suddenly crossed my mind. I took a deep breath and slowly shook my head. "I can't. Jesse, this is really sweet of you, but I can't." I repeated.

He just kept staring at me intently, not saying a word for a while. I knew he was searching for more arguments to convince me to come with him, to transfer to Carmel. I knew I had to explain just why I could not come, even if he did not understand, even if he would never completely understand.

"The New Directions found out about us." I said. He gave me a clueless look, and I realized that this statement must have come out of nowhere for him.

"I know that, Rachel. I was there in the hallway yesterday, remember?" He reminded me, sounding as if he were trying to teach a three-year-old math. I shook my head, smiling faintly as I understood that he had not yet gotten what the being-with-the-enemy-part of our relationship meant to the rest of the New Directions.

"That's not what I meant. Finn and Noah just saw you as my new boyfriend. They didn't identify you right away." I explained. "However, Kurt – another guy in the club – found you on the internet after Finn described you. They know now that you're the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline."

Humorless laughter rose from his throat when he eventually got that I was talking about the Romeo-and-Juliet-aspect of our relationship. "I bet they weren't thrilled."

"They weren't." I admitted. "But they accepted our relationship and didn't _insist _that I break up with you. In the end." I added when he eyed me suspiciously.

"How generous." He said sarcastically.

"Jesse, this is a really big step for them." I persisted.

"So, why was it a _bad_ day then?" He picked up his earlier trail, obviously trying to get back to the Carmel-transfer topic by luring me into telling him what had been bad about McKinley High today.

"Well, most of them at least … tolerated my being with the enemy in the end. But …" I hesitated. "Remember the guys we met yesterday in the hallway? The tall one who you couldn't believe was my ex-boyfriend?"

"You needn't remind me of that." A cocky grin spread over his face. "I know he's no competition for me."

"He's not." I confirmed with a sigh. "He is – or was, however, our male lead. And he can get a little jealous. He left the New Directions and threatened not to come back unless I broke up with you." I finished in a rush, looking up at him.

"Well, he's a jerk. I don't see how that influences you or any of your decisions …" He trailed off.

"Jesse, I have just sworn to my club that I won't let my relationship with you affect their chances at winning. Yet I did by causing Finn to leave."

"But that's not your fault!" He cut me off, sounding slightly exasperated. "If they don't get that, they are just unfair!"

"But they do get that." I told him and smiled as I remembered the kindness Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn and Santana had shown me. "Finn dropping out is a big problem nevertheless. He was the male lead, and without him we're only eleven people. I'm sure you know what that means."

"Yes, it means you can't compete." He replied, frowning. Well, he clearly knew his show choir rule book.

I nodded. "Exactly. Can't you see that I have to fix this? I might be the last person who can secure them a shot at winning at Regionals."

He gave me a sad smile, and he knew he was biting back one of the casual comments we tended to make about how much Vocal Adrenaline was better than the New Directions or vice versa. "So that's why you won't come to Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline with me? A promise?" He demanded.

I took in a deep breath. "I really like you, Jesse StJames. You know that. And I appreciate everything you have done for me." I told him, pouring my heart out for the second time that day. "But I can't leave that amazing group of people who loves me and who cares for me almost as much as you do, especially not now. It would feel like betrayal." I fixed my eyes on his, silently pleading him to understand. It seemed like forever until he finally gave me a brief nod.

"I get it." He said and put his arm around my waist. "So, do you want to watch a movie?" He suddenly changed the subject and did not breach the topics of bullying or transferring again that evening.

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He had been surprised at her reluctance to come to Carmel with him. She did not talk about her current school or the people there highly, well, usually she did not. Obviously, the bonds that tied her to the rest of the members of the New Directions were a lot tighter than he had assumed when he had chosen to offer her a way out.

He was not planning on letting her work her way through the bullying alone, however. He would start setting Plan B in motion as soon as he got back to Carmel to talk to Shelby and convince her that this was in everybody's best interest.

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_REVIEW! (Wow, that came out a lot louder than I inteded ... well, at least you know how badly I crave your reviews now. So go feed my addiction!)_


	9. Recruiting A New Member

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**_  
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_Woot! New chapter - already? Yeah, you can trust your eyes!_**  
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_I've recently played around with the thought of making kind of a Klaine sequel to this once it is finished. By sequel, I mean I'd let the relationships pretty much stay the way they end in this story and put the Kurt/Blaine pairing in the center of action. If any of you would be interested in something like that, please tell me in a review or PM.  
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_The fashion brand Kurt mentions was made up in my had, but since I've no idea about runway fashion, it is possible that it exists in reality.  
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_If you find any grave mistakes in my English while reading this, please tell me about them so I won't (hopefully) make them again.  
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_Oh, and for those of you who have twitter, you can follow me on teebs_teebs.  
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_Also, review! I love you guys, you're my readers, and I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone who reviewed and to those who even re-reviewed. I realize that there are no reviews counted on the first five chapters because I uploaded the first six chapters all at once, but still I'm kinda disappointed that I only have 12 reviews for 8 (now 9) chapters, which is not even 2 reviews per chapter, which is (as I think) pretty lame. I didn't think this story was that bad ...  
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_But well, I didn't wanna fall on your nerves, either, so now go read!_**  
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**New Adrenaline  
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**Chapter 9  
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**- Recruiting A New Member -  
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Same as every day, I had to pass by the huge trashcans standing in front of McKinley High when I made my way from the parking lot to the front doors of the big school building that never had been what you'd call an exquisite piece of architecture. As usual, I could make out the distinct shape of a cluster of bullies surrounding some poor kid standing next to them as soon as I got out of my car, still several hundred meters away. It was a fairly common sight on the grounds of William McKinley High School, thus not bothering me as much as it probably should have.

Approaching the rather familiar scene, I could identify some of the bullies. Azimio, of course. How would I ever forget about him? Karofsky was there, too, and some other jocks from the football team whose names hadn't been etched into my memory yet, but who I recognized. That left one rather tall figure who seemed to be a new addition to the group of bullies performing operation dumpster, giving them the first high of the day.

I felt my curiosity growing until it overpowered the urge to sneak by the group of jocks and their victim of the morning, steering as clear of the trashcans as I could, and my feet carried me closer and closer towards them. Then, suddenly, something clicked in my head and I knew. It was obvious, really. The abnormally tall guy, the football jock who was the newest member of the dumpster squad, was Finn.

"No, please! This is Jonathan Bell's new collection!" I heard a high-pitched, almost girly voice scream and marveled at how Kurt could still sound so full of dignity and superior pride when he must be scared to death on the inside.

The entire situation was too out-of-place for me to grasp. This was not supposed to be happening. Finn and Kurt had sort of bonded over being in glee together and their parents dating, or so I'd thought.

"Who cares, faggot!" Karofsky answered harshly, motioning forward to grab Kurt from behind.

"Your turn, Hudson." Azimio prompted Finn, who, without hesitating even for a split-second, moved forward and picked up Kurt's feet.

"One … Two … Three" The remaining jocks counted in unison, and Karofsky and Finn tossed Kurt into the dumpster. I heard the muffled _thad_ that indicated that the countertenor had landed on a pile of well-filled garbage bags. I still watched in shock, frozen in place, as the bullies proceeded to celebrate their actions, giving each other high-fives and patting each other on the backs.

Before they finally, thankfully, left, both Azimio's and Finn's glance rested briefly upon me. For a short moment, I was worried that one of the two of them might call out to their friends in a spontaneous decision to make this morning a doubly successful one. But Azimio, for now, seemed to be content with giving me a silent but obvious threat that I would be the next victim to one of his cruel ideas if I wasn't careful and Finn …

Finn's intense stare and the smirk I'd seen on his face so often, the smirk that suddenly seemed so evil, said nothing but _You brought this on yourself. And on Kurt. And on the entire glee club. It was your choice._

I shook my head, both in denial of the crazy accusations he silently threw at me and in disbelief about Finn's actions and, as soon as all of the jocks were out of sight, made my way over to the trashcans.

"Kurt?" I called out the diva's name, not too loudly, though, since I didn't want to draw any further unwanted attention towards us. When he didn't answer, I closed the last bit of the gap between me and the dumpsters in a hurry, and worriedly looked down into the one Kurt had been tossed in. Surely enough, there he sat, carefully breathing through his mouth, looking even paler as usual, as he struggled to get up without causing any of the garbage bags to tear open.

"Here, let me help you." I offered, holding out my hands towards him. He looked up at me, appearing both incredulous and grateful, and with joined forces we managed to get him out of the trashcan pretty fast.

"Thank god none of these garbage bags burst!" Kurt blurted out after he had taken several deep breaths. "There's nothing worse than having the waste of the McKinley High cafeteria all over your designer clothes." He raised an eyebrow at me, taking in the outfit I was wearing, and then added: "Not that you would know." It sounded a lot less condescending than Kurt's usual rants about my clothing, but the smile I gave him was sad nevertheless.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry for what just happened!" I gestured towards the trashcan I'd so recently pulled him out of. As if he needed a reminder. "It somehow feels like all of this is my fault." I confessed.

"Oh no!" He exclaimed, as if the very idea that I could be responsible for any of this was completely crazy. "Rachel Barbra Berry, I am not going to let you take blame for this. Or any other deeds Finn Hudson sadly will probably commit within the next days and weeks." He stated solemnly. "He alone is responsible for his decisions and actions; they have nothing to do with you."

For some reason, I was so moved by his declaration that I felt tears sting in my eyes.

"Thank you, Kurt." I breathed.

"On top of it, I would probably have been tossed into that dumpster anyways." He added, smiling sadly but knowingly. "Finn being there didn't change a thing about that. It just made it more …" He trailed off.

"Personal? Painful?" I filled in.

"Yeah, I guess that's it. He's also been a lot meaner than he used to. Before he joined glee at all, that is." Kurt finished, and I just gave him an inquiring look. "He always used to let me take off my designer clothes. I used to think of him as my knight in a shining armor." He explained.

I found myself laughing humorlessly at his words. "Well, he clearly threw that role."

"He did." Kurt confirmed, his grim laughter echoing mine. "I sincerely hope you didn't break up with this St. James guy. Giving Finn what he wants, almost as if it were a reward to his current behavior, would be exactly the wrong thing to do right now." Kurt told me as if we were a pair of parents trying to teaching manners to a three-year-old. It seemed strangely fitting. "We can always cope with the other problems." He added, giving me a reassuring smile that somehow really made me believe everything was going to be alright. Even though the New Directions currently neither had a male lead singer nor enough members to compete. Even though Finn seemed to not only have left us, but also be turning on us.

"I didn't. Break up with him, I mean. Breaking up with Jesse never was an option." I reinforced basically every statement I had made since the New Directions found out about Jesse and me.

"You really mean that, don't you?" Kurt asked, sounding merely sympathetic.

"I do." I confirmed solemnly.

"Well, seems to be a serious thing, then." He nodded just as solemnly before switching back into his usual gossip queen mode. "We still have ten minutes until French starts. While we walk there, I want you to tell me all the smutty details!"

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Kurt and I had decided to pass notes on to the other members of the New Directions, warning them to be careful about Finn and asking them to meet us in the choir room ten minutes before the end of lunch break so that we could discuss how to cope with the problems caused by Finn and make a decision together. Not surprisingly, everyone showed up, most of them in advance. They all gave me sympathetic looks or mouthed apologies for the crap they'd given me about my relationship with Jesse. I'd never felt more like a part of this group.

Eventually, everyone had arrived except for Mercedes. Just when Santana suggested that the black diva might be pulling some attention-seeking "give-me-more-R.E.S.P.E.C.T."-stunt, our Aretha-double walked through the door of the choir room.

"He slushied me!" She cried out in her best pissed-girl voice. "Can you believe that? He slushied me!"

There was no mistaking whom she was referring too, as she graciously walked over to the chairs and sat down, flipping her hair, which was still wet from the water with which she must have rinsed the remainders of the slushy out in the ladies' restroom, over her shoulders.

"I believe it." Kurt said emotionlessly. "He tossed me into the dumpster."

"He didn't!" Mercedes exclaimed, instantly jumped up again and rushed over to hug her best friend.

"He did. I was there to bear witness." I said matter-of-factly.

"That bastard!" Everybody's eyes fell on Puck, who had just called his best friend a bastard and was now wringing his hands as if he had a hard time pulling himself together.

"Well, I guess the note about being careful around Hudson was not a joke then." Santana sneered.

"No, it was not." I shook my head, still somewhat shocked by what Finn had proven he was capable of, the ease with which he had turned on his "friends" and teammates, just to get back at me and make me feel guilty.

"I don't want to play the bullying down, and I'm sure we haven't seen the last of it." I started out; trying to tap into the authority I had as a team captain. "But Finn has also let us down in another way: He's left the New Directions. Without him, we not only don't have a male lead, but also are only eleven people and thus banned from competing according to the show choir rule book. Regionals are approaching, guys, and we need to find a way to recruit at least one new member."

"I think I've got that covered for you." A familiar voice said as soon as I had finished my little speech. I spun around on my heels, and I am positive that I just stood there staring at him, agape, for several seconds. So did everybody else in the room.

"And why would _you _help us?" Santana asked, staring at him suspiciously. "Last time I checked, you were on Vocal Adrenaline, our _competition_ at Regionals."

"Yes, and that was _last _time you checked, Santana." Everybody's looks shot towards Mr. Shue who had entered the room directly behind Jesse St. James. "Not any more he isn't."

I took a small step towards Jesse, trying to make sense of the chaos in my mind. "Jesse …"

He gave me his brightest smile before taking a few steps forward so that he could address the entire New Directions.

"I transferred here." He proclaimed. "I moved in with my uncle and his family, who live in the McKinley district. It's easy, really. My parents are not at home most of the time, anyway." He added, and, when he'd finished, moved a little closer to me and put his arm around my waist.

"And why exactly would you do something like that?" Kurt asked, but I could tell from the look he gave me that he already had his answer. He knew, however, that Jesse had to say it, and say it credibly, in front of everyone.

"I did it for Rachel." He said, looking down on me affectionately. "I love her, and I want to be able to protect her."

"From bullies?" Mercedes chimed in with her loud voice. "Cause white boy, you just joined the glee club. You're at the bottom of the food chain yourself now."

"I know." Jesse said. "But Rachel refused to come to Carmel with me, so this is the best option I had."

I blushed as he revealed to my teammates what we had talked about yesterday.

"Wait, what?" Santana asked, giving me a what-the-fuck-look. "_You _refused to transfer to Carmel and join Vocal Adrenaline?"

I just nodded, so overwhelmed with the entire situation that I didn't trust my ability to form coherent sentences.

"Berry, you're a lot cooler than I thought you were."

* * *

It had been a lot easier to get in than he had assumed it would. He had expected them to accuse him of spying – hell, that was what he'd told Shelby he'd do so she'd allowed her lead singer to transfer. That, and complete the mission she'd chosen him to carry out in the first place. But he'd noticed his new teammates' suspicions had faded fast when they noticed his obvious affection towards Rachel.

Well, maybe their quick acceptance of his joining their group also had something to do with the fact that they were desperately looking for a twelfth member. When it came down to it, the why didn't matter. He was just glad that Rachel's friends didn't treat him like a foreign body that needed to be removed.

The discussion regarding the situation his new coach, Mr. Shuester, had launched into as soon as he'd finished explaining the details to his transfer took up the entire time that was meant to be used to rehearse. It wasn't something he'd ever experienced on Vocal Adrenaline, but it was a welcome change. Shelby also would never have allowed for Vocal Adrenaline to get shaken up like this, which would have made a discussion like this one pointless.

I took nothing more than a few YouTube-videos of his performances with Vocal Adrenaline to make them agree that he'd be their male lead. At competitions, at least.

All the while, he kept his arm wrapped tightly around Rachel's tiny body. His girlfriend had soon become comfortable with sitting so close to him that they almost melted into each other and was now leaning into him heavily. He drank in her scent, and smiled down at her whenever she gave him one of the quizzical glances that seemed to scream out the question Kurt had asked him earlier. She obviously couldn't believe why he would do something like this for her. They'd both agreed that they'd never be compromising when it came to their careers and their competitions, yet here he was, having transferred from Carmel High with its prestigious show choir Vocal Adrenaline to McKinley High with its completely unknown and drama-loaded New Directions.

There was no rational answer to her question.

It was just that he was completely, entirely and utterly in love with her and that he'd do everything to protect her. Even accept the risk of losing a fourth consecutive national championship.

* * *

XXX

"Because when you love something, you gotta go for it. You would never be with me completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline … for you." (Jesse St. James, The Power Of Madonna)

XXX

_This is, in my opinion, one of the best glee quotes ever, and a good part of it is in this chapter. I didn't want to put it above, because then you'd have already known what was going to happen, but I didn't want to not mention it at all, either._

_So, this leaves us where we stopped at the end of the last chapter. Yes, we both know you are going to review. You just have to click into this box and write something about this chapter, or the entire story, or even just how much you ship St. Berry (though shipping St. Berry is not required to read or review this story). But I'm trailing off, so ... REVIEW!  
_


	10. The Initiation Ritual

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

_So, new chapter. Slightly shorter than the last one - which has been the longest chapter to be submitted to this story as of yet - but longer than I'd expected after I'd written it by hand. _**  
**

_As always, I'd love for anyone to review and, if you find some, tell me about grave mistakes in my English.  
_

_Now I don't know how to finish this, but no one reads author's notes anyways, so ...  
_

* * *

**New Adrenaline**_  
_

**Chapter 10  
**

**- The "Initiation Ritual" -**

Jesse picked me up with his black Range Rover – which he'd obviously somehow been allowed to keep when he left Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline – on Friday, so we could drive to school together on his first entire official day of school at McKinley High. My dads exchanged a meaningful glance across the breakfast table when the giant black car pulled into our driveway, and I realized that the two of them were the last people in my life who hadn't yet found out about Jesse. I jumped up from my chair, gave them an apologetic smile and leaned over the table to kiss both dad and daddy chastely on the cheek. "I'll tell you everything at dinner today. I promise." I told them, and stormed out the door, almost forgetting to take my book bag that lay on the kitchen counter.

Closing the front door behind me, I beamed at Jesse who had gotten out of the car to greet me. He wrapped his arms around me and placed a quick peck on my lips. Smiling, I snuck a glance in the direction of the kitchen window. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned up at him, returning a brief kiss before I explained. "I'm pretty sure my dads are watching us through that window right now."

"They'd better." He grinned back at me as he removed his arms from around my waist and took my small hand into his larger one in order to lead me over to his car. Perfect gentleman that he was, he opened the door for me and helped me climb into the passenger's seat. I watched him walk around the car and get in on the driver's side while I put my seatbelt on.

"What are you looking at?" He asked with an innocent tone, and I blushed when I realized I'd been staring at him.

"Nothing." I said, attempting to sound as convincing as I could – which was futile regarding the circumstances. His ego was already huge; I didn't need to contribute to its further growth.

"What a shame. And there you had me thinking you were staring at me." He joked when he started the motor and pulled out of the Berry driveway. A small smile formed on my face.

"So, do they know about me?" He asked casually after we'd remained silent for a while.

"Who?"

"Your dads."

"Oh. They do now." I laughed. "I kind of forgot to tell them after all the glee drama, but I just promised to answer all of their questions tonight." I answered truthfully.

"Do you want me to be there?" The question came completely unexpected, leaving me at a loss for words.

"I … I hadn't thought about that." I stuttered, a gazillion thoughts racing through my mind all at once. My dads and Jesse …?

"I didn't want to put any pressure on you." He added hastily when I didn't give him a definite answer all at once. "I just thought …"

"No, it's fine. It's quite a good idea, actually." I cut him off, smiling brightly at him. "I'm sure my dads would love to meet you in person. I'm going to call them during lunch break and ask them if it's okay with them if I bring you for dinner. I'm almost certain there won't be any problems, though."

"So that's a formal invitation?" He asked.

"Yes, it is. Consider yourself formally invited to have dinner at the Berry house tonight." I confirmed.

"I accept, milady." He matched my half-serious tone perfectly. "So that's the awkward first meeting with the parents of the girlfriend tonight." He said, as if he were ticking a box on a mental to-do-list. "And you have two protective fathers to work my way around." He pretended to shudder, but the smile was evident in his voice.

"What about your parents?" I asked and, as if on cue, his entire body tensed. I realized we really breached that topic before. "I … I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude." I apologized hastily although he hadn't said a word in response yet.

"No, it's alright." He reassured me, but his usually so sonorous voice sounded unnaturally blank. "It's … I don't have what you'd call a close relationship with my parents. Sometimes I think we don't have any kind of relationship at all." A grim smile appeared on his handsome face. "They're nouveau riches, I don't even know what they did to make the money, but they're practically drowning in it. All I've ever seen them doing is enjoying their lives, flying from one city to the other, shopping, partying … A toddler or a kid of school age is a rather big obstacle to that kind of jet set lifestyle, so they left me behind in their main house in Carmel, in the care of a nanny." He finished his rant as he pulled into the McKinley High parking lot.

"I'm sorry, Jesse." I said and placed my hand on his shoulder, not knowing what to do to comfort him. "It must be awful not to have your Mum and Dad around when you need them."

"I don't _need _them." He answered promptly. "I've learned dealing without them a long time ago."

"Yeah, but that's … _dealing._" I didn't know why I couldn't drop the subject right then, and, for a brief moment, I was afraid that I might have crossed an invisible line when he kept staring at me intently after he'd stopped the engine.

"Well, how do you _deal_?" He finally asked. "It's not like _your_ Mum is around."

* * *

"Well, how do you _deal_?" He finally asked. "It's not like _your_ Mum is around." He blurted out and could have slapped himself as soon as the words had left his mouth. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have gone anywhere near that topic. He hadn't intended to, it was just that he forgot to keep his guard up around her. Which was ridiculous, really. He shouldn't need a guard when he talked to the one person in the world he really loved. Everything was that easy around her. Why couldn't he just _not _know? Then he wouldn't be caught up in this struggle, unable to decide whether or not to keep his mouth shut.

"That's true. But I have two dads who love me and care about me." Rachel answered, oblivious to the turmoil inside him. "Your situation is a lot different."

"Yeah, I guess." He agreed, breathing a silent sigh of relief. "But I meant what I said. I haven't needed them for the last few years, and I certainly don't need them now. My life is complete as long as I have you." He looked straight into her eyes when he said the last sentence, hoping to somehow convey how honest his words really were.

"Wow." She breathed and closed the space between them what started out as an innocent peck, but soon turned into a long, deep, passionate kiss.

"It's such a shame that we have to go to school right now." He whispered as soon as he'd regained his breath. Her melodic laughter echoed throughout his car.

"It is. But I wouldn't want to be responsible for you missing your first day at William McKinley High school." He watched her climb out of the Range Rover – which he knew was a real challenge for such a short person – and dared to close his eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply. He cursed Shelby Corcoran for what she'd done to him. He shouldn't be caught up in these family issues, but he was, and now he didn't know what to do.

* * *

We ran into Kurt and Mercedes in front of the lockers, and Kurt greeted me with a quick hug. Mercedes took in the sight of Jesse and me, one arm wrapped around each other's waist, and have us a huge, knowing grin.

"So, how does it fell, being in a new school?" Kurt addressed Jesse.

"Well, I like what I've seen so far." Jesse answered, grinning down at me.

"Which would be Rachel and us glee kids." Mercedes stated the obvious.

"Right." Jesse confirmed, smiling at the black diva. "I plan to bring this club to greatness, with the help of Rachel … and you guys, of course." He added rashly when Kurt's narrowed eyes caught up with his soaring ego. There wasn't enough time for the fashionista to formulate a biting comeback, however, because that very moment a surge of slushy was thrown our way.

"Welcome to loser town, new kid." I heard Karofsky sneer, and when I dared to open my eyes again, I saw him and Azimio disappear around the corner of the hallway.

Even without Karofsky's comment, it was obvious that Jesse had been the main target of this particular slushy assault. To be honest, I had barely been hit by any of the frozen drink although I was standing directly next to him, and Mercedes and Kurt, too, had only gotten a few splashes on their clothes – at which, naturally, the latter one stared in horror.

I reacted fast, got out a handkerchief and wiped the slushy out of Jesse's eyes and face. Inexperienced as he was with this type of attack, he had not shut his eyes in time, and I suspected that the slushy in them must be stinging like hell.

"I am so sorry, Jesse." I told him in a soft voice.

"I told you you were at the bottom of the food chain here yesterday, white boy." Mercedes reminded him, scanning him from head to toe. "Looks like now you've really become one of us."

"At least you look colorful." Kurt acknowledged, his voice full of black humor. "Well, look at him." He defended himself when I gave him what must have been an incredulous glance, and when I scanned Jesse, much the way Mercedes had done before, I noticed that he was right. My boyfriend had been covered in a mixture of pretty much every type of slushy available – from the yellow mango-banana flavored one over the red one that tasted like strawberry to the green apple slushy and, finally, the purple one with the blueberry flavor.

"He's right, you look like a rainbow." Mercedes said, smiling at Jesse sympathetically. I noticed then that Jesse had just been standing there open-mouthed, watching our conversation from the outside as if there was an invisible barrier between him and us.

"Jesse, are you okay?" I asked him, frowning. "Jesse?"

The genuine worry in my voice must have shaken him out of his apathy. "Do things like this happen all the time?" He asked hesitantly.

"That probably means you've got nothing to change into." Kurt said, always the first one to think about clothes. I shrugged, thinking that his words were as good of an answer as anything I could have said.

"N-no." Jesse stammered, teeth chattering.

"Well, I would offer you something out of my extensive designer wardrobe, but I don't think it would fit you." Kurt said and continued to stare at Jesse, obviously trying to estimate his size. "I'm gonna go find Puckerman." He concluded eventually. "Rachel, you'd better rinse the slushy out of his hair right now if he's to make it to first period in time. I'm going to tell Puck to find you in the men's restroom."

I nodded, smiling at Kurt gratefully.

"Come on, Jess." I said, tucking softly on his hand.

"See you in glee." Mercedes called behind us.

I just waved at her, dragging Jesse behind me towards the men's restroom.

* * *

Rachel had rinsed the slushy out of his hair, and all he had been able to think about was how he had come here to _protect _her, not be comforted _by _her. Yet here they were, in a men's restroom that had, thankfully, been empty when he had entered it with his girlfriend who had then proceeded to wash what was essentially frozen corn syrup out of his hair with lukewarm tap water. She had told him how sorry she was over and over again, and each time he had told her that he didn't mind. He knew she felt that this was partly her fault; he had come here because of her, after all.

"How do you put up with this?" He had finally managed to ask her when she had started to towel-dry his hair the best she could. She had sighed, put the towel down for a moment, and he had known she struggled with a truthful answer.

"You get used to it, I guess." She'd said. "Kurt keeps telling us that he knows someday they'll work for him." She'd added with a smile.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it." He told her, taking the damp towel from her hands.

"Neither should you, and you wouldn't hadn't you come here. Because of me." She'd answered, looking up into his eyes with a glance that was both searching and sad. "You shouldn't have come just because of me. It's not worth the price. You're a star."

"You are, too." He'd told her, giving her a sad smile. "I am not going to let them extinguish your light."

That was when Noah, or Puck, as he liked to be called, had walked in on them, offering him a red, baggy t-shirt and washed-out jeans. He accepted both and sent Rachel to her first period class, giving her a quick parting kiss.

"You don't seem like the typical target for bullying." Jesse told Puck while he changed into the younger boys clothes. "How come you keep an outfit to change into in your locker?"

Puck just laughed at him. "I'm in glee club. That pretty much makes everyone a target. Even Quinn and Finn have been slushied – when he still was in the club, I mean." Puck remained silent for a short moment after he'd mentioned the name that Rachel had used in so many of the complicated stories she'd told him. "They call it homo explosion." Puck added with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure I coined that term before I joined myself."

"Have you ever tried to do something about this?" Jesse asked, gesturing at his slushy-stained clothes that were lying on the floor.

"It's next to impossible." Puck said. "If Figgins really were to do something about this, he would have to expel almost every cheerio and football player, plus a bunch of the other kids. About half the school, I think." Puck finished humorlessly.

Jesse shook his head resignedly. "This is messed up." He sighed.

Puck snorted. "It definitely is."

* * *

_That's it for now. I know I answered some of you that I wouldn't really breach the Rachel/Shelby topic in this story, but I'm not so certain any more. The more I write, the less I seem to be able to leave it aside. And lies/secrets certainly aren't a good foundation for the serious relationship I want Rachel and Jesse to have ... just had to get this off my mind._

_Anyways, I would be grateful if you reviewed. Yeah, you.  
_


	11. Tackling Issues

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

_So, new chapter. Slightly shorter than the last one - which has been the longest chapter to be submitted to this story as of yet - but longer than I'd expected after I'd written it by hand. _**  
**

_As always, I'd love for anyone to review and, if you find some, tell me about grave mistakes in my English.  
_

_Now I don't know how to finish this, but no one reads author's notes anyways, so ...  
_

* * *

**New Adrenaline**_  
_

**Chapter 10  
**

**- The "Initiation Ritual" -**

Jesse picked me up with his black Range Rover – which he'd obviously somehow been allowed to keep when he left Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline – on Friday, so we could drive to school together on his first entire official day of school at McKinley High. My dads exchanged a meaningful glance across the breakfast table when the giant black car pulled into our driveway, and I realized that the two of them were the last people in my life who hadn't yet found out about Jesse. I jumped up from my chair, gave them an apologetic smile and leaned over the table to kiss both dad and daddy chastely on the cheek. "I'll tell you everything at dinner today. I promise." I told them, and stormed out the door, almost forgetting to take my book bag that lay on the kitchen counter.

Closing the front door behind me, I beamed at Jesse who had gotten out of the car to greet me. He wrapped his arms around me and placed a quick peck on my lips. Smiling, I snuck a glance in the direction of the kitchen window. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned up at him, returning a brief kiss before I explained. "I'm pretty sure my dads are watching us through that window right now."

"They'd better." He grinned back at me as he removed his arms from around my waist and took my small hand into his larger one in order to lead me over to his car. Perfect gentleman that he was, he opened the door for me and helped me climb into the passenger's seat. I watched him walk around the car and get in on the driver's side while I put my seatbelt on.

"What are you looking at?" He asked with an innocent tone, and I blushed when I realized I'd been staring at him.

"Nothing." I said, attempting to sound as convincing as I could – which was futile regarding the circumstances. His ego was already huge; I didn't need to contribute to its further growth.

"What a shame. And there you had me thinking you were staring at me." He joked when he started the motor and pulled out of the Berry driveway. A small smile formed on my face.

"So, do they know about me?" He asked casually after we'd remained silent for a while.

"Who?"

"Your dads."

"Oh. They do now." I laughed. "I kind of forgot to tell them after all the glee drama, but I just promised to answer all of their questions tonight." I answered truthfully.

"Do you want me to be there?" The question came completely unexpected, leaving me at a loss for words.

"I … I hadn't thought about that." I stuttered, a gazillion thoughts racing through my mind all at once. My dads and Jesse …?

"I didn't want to put any pressure on you." He added hastily when I didn't give him a definite answer all at once. "I just thought …"

"No, it's fine. It's quite a good idea, actually." I cut him off, smiling brightly at him. "I'm sure my dads would love to meet you in person. I'm going to call them during lunch break and ask them if it's okay with them if I bring you for dinner. I'm almost certain there won't be any problems, though."

"So that's a formal invitation?" He asked.

"Yes, it is. Consider yourself formally invited to have dinner at the Berry house tonight." I confirmed.

"I accept, milady." He matched my half-serious tone perfectly. "So that's the awkward first meeting with the parents of the girlfriend tonight." He said, as if he were ticking a box on a mental to-do-list. "And you have two protective fathers to work my way around." He pretended to shudder, but the smile was evident in his voice.

"What about your parents?" I asked and, as if on cue, his entire body tensed. I realized we really breached that topic before. "I … I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude." I apologized hastily although he hadn't said a word in response yet.

"No, it's alright." He reassured me, but his usually so sonorous voice sounded unnaturally blank. "It's … I don't have what you'd call a close relationship with my parents. Sometimes I think we don't have any kind of relationship at all." A grim smile appeared on his handsome face. "They're nouveau riches, I don't even know what they did to make the money, but they're practically drowning in it. All I've ever seen them doing is enjoying their lives, flying from one city to the other, shopping, partying … A toddler or a kid of school age is a rather big obstacle to that kind of jet set lifestyle, so they left me behind in their main house in Carmel, in the care of a nanny." He finished his rant as he pulled into the McKinley High parking lot.

"I'm sorry, Jesse." I said and placed my hand on his shoulder, not knowing what to do to comfort him. "It must be awful not to have your Mum and Dad around when you need them."

"I don't _need _them." He answered promptly. "I've learned dealing without them a long time ago."

"Yeah, but that's … _dealing._" I didn't know why I couldn't drop the subject right then, and, for a brief moment, I was afraid that I might have crossed an invisible line when he kept staring at me intently after he'd stopped the engine.

"Well, how do you _deal_?" He finally asked. "It's not like _your_ Mum is around."

* * *

"Well, how do you _deal_?" He finally asked. "It's not like _your_ Mum is around." He blurted out and could have slapped himself as soon as the words had left his mouth. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have gone anywhere near that topic. He hadn't intended to, it was just that he forgot to keep his guard up around her. Which was ridiculous, really. He shouldn't need a guard when he talked to the one person in the world he really loved. Everything was that easy around her. Why couldn't he just _not _know? Then he wouldn't be caught up in this struggle, unable to decide whether or not to keep his mouth shut.

"That's true. But I have two dads who love me and care about me." Rachel answered, oblivious to the turmoil inside him. "Your situation is a lot different."

"Yeah, I guess." He agreed, breathing a silent sigh of relief. "But I meant what I said. I haven't needed them for the last few years, and I certainly don't need them now. My life is complete as long as I have you." He looked straight into her eyes when he said the last sentence, hoping to somehow convey how honest his words really were.

"Wow." She breathed and closed the space between them what started out as an innocent peck, but soon turned into a long, deep, passionate kiss.

"It's such a shame that we have to go to school right now." He whispered as soon as he'd regained his breath. Her melodic laughter echoed throughout his car.

"It is. But I wouldn't want to be responsible for you missing your first day at William McKinley High school." He watched her climb out of the Range Rover – which he knew was a real challenge for such a short person – and dared to close his eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply. He cursed Shelby Corcoran for what she'd done to him. He shouldn't be caught up in these family issues, but he was, and now he didn't know what to do.

* * *

We ran into Kurt and Mercedes in front of the lockers, and Kurt greeted me with a quick hug. Mercedes took in the sight of Jesse and me, one arm wrapped around each other's waist, and have us a huge, knowing grin.

"So, how does it fell, being in a new school?" Kurt addressed Jesse.

"Well, I like what I've seen so far." Jesse answered, grinning down at me.

"Which would be Rachel and us glee kids." Mercedes stated the obvious.

"Right." Jesse confirmed, smiling at the black diva. "I plan to bring this club to greatness, with the help of Rachel … and you guys, of course." He added rashly when Kurt's narrowed eyes caught up with his soaring ego. There wasn't enough time for the fashionista to formulate a biting comeback, however, because that very moment a surge of slushy was thrown our way.

"Welcome to loser town, new kid." I heard Karofsky sneer, and when I dared to open my eyes again, I saw him and Azimio disappear around the corner of the hallway.

Even without Karofsky's comment, it was obvious that Jesse had been the main target of this particular slushy assault. To be honest, I had barely been hit by any of the frozen drink although I was standing directly next to him, and Mercedes and Kurt, too, had only gotten a few splashes on their clothes – at which, naturally, the latter one stared in horror.

I reacted fast, got out a handkerchief and wiped the slushy out of Jesse's eyes and face. Inexperienced as he was with this type of attack, he had not shut his eyes in time, and I suspected that the slushy in them must be stinging like hell.

"I am so sorry, Jesse." I told him in a soft voice.

"I told you you were at the bottom of the food chain here yesterday, white boy." Mercedes reminded him, scanning him from head to toe. "Looks like now you've really become one of us."

"At least you look colorful." Kurt acknowledged, his voice full of black humor. "Well, look at him." He defended himself when I gave him what must have been an incredulous glance, and when I scanned Jesse, much the way Mercedes had done before, I noticed that he was right. My boyfriend had been covered in a mixture of pretty much every type of slushy available – from the yellow mango-banana flavored one over the red one that tasted like strawberry to the green apple slushy and, finally, the purple one with the blueberry flavor.

"He's right, you look like a rainbow." Mercedes said, smiling at Jesse sympathetically. I noticed then that Jesse had just been standing there open-mouthed, watching our conversation from the outside as if there was an invisible barrier between him and us.

"Jesse, are you okay?" I asked him, frowning. "Jesse?"

The genuine worry in my voice must have shaken him out of his apathy. "Do things like this happen all the time?" He asked hesitantly.

"That probably means you've got nothing to change into." Kurt said, always the first one to think about clothes. I shrugged, thinking that his words were as good of an answer as anything I could have said.

"N-no." Jesse stammered, teeth chattering.

"Well, I would offer you something out of my extensive designer wardrobe, but I don't think it would fit you." Kurt said and continued to stare at Jesse, obviously trying to estimate his size. "I'm gonna go find Puckerman." He concluded eventually. "Rachel, you'd better rinse the slushy out of his hair right now if he's to make it to first period in time. I'm going to tell Puck to find you in the men's restroom."

I nodded, smiling at Kurt gratefully.

"Come on, Jess." I said, tucking softly on his hand.

"See you in glee." Mercedes called behind us.

I just waved at her, dragging Jesse behind me towards the men's restroom.

* * *

Rachel had rinsed the slushy out of his hair, and all he had been able to think about was how he had come here to _protect _her, not be comforted _by _her. Yet here they were, in a men's restroom that had, thankfully, been empty when he had entered it with his girlfriend who had then proceeded to wash what was essentially frozen corn syrup out of his hair with lukewarm tap water. She had told him how sorry she was over and over again, and each time he had told her that he didn't mind. He knew she felt that this was partly her fault; he had come here because of her, after all.

"How do you put up with this?" He had finally managed to ask her when she had started to towel-dry his hair the best she could. She had sighed, put the towel down for a moment, and he had known she struggled with a truthful answer.

"You get used to it, I guess." She'd said. "Kurt keeps telling us that he knows someday they'll work for him." She'd added with a smile.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it." He told her, taking the damp towel from her hands.

"Neither should you, and you wouldn't hadn't you come here. Because of me." She'd answered, looking up into his eyes with a glance that was both searching and sad. "You shouldn't have come just because of me. It's not worth the price. You're a star."

"You are, too." He'd told her, giving her a sad smile. "I am not going to let them extinguish your light."

That was when Noah, or Puck, as he liked to be called, had walked in on them, offering him a red, baggy t-shirt and washed-out jeans. He accepted both and sent Rachel to her first period class, giving her a quick parting kiss.

"You don't seem like the typical target for bullying." Jesse told Puck while he changed into the younger boys clothes. "How come you keep an outfit to change into in your locker?"

Puck just laughed at him. "I'm in glee club. That pretty much makes everyone a target. Even Quinn and Finn have been slushied – when he still was in the club, I mean." Puck remained silent for a short moment after he'd mentioned the name that Rachel had used in so many of the complicated stories she'd told him. "They call it homo explosion." Puck added with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure I coined that term before I joined myself."

"Have you ever tried to do something about this?" Jesse asked, gesturing at his slushy-stained clothes that were lying on the floor.

"It's next to impossible." Puck said. "If Figgins really were to do something about this, he would have to expel almost every cheerio and football player, plus a bunch of the other kids. About half the school, I think." Puck finished humorlessly.

Jesse shook his head resignedly. "This is messed up." He sighed.

Puck snorted. "It definitely is."

* * *

_That's it for now. I know I answered some of you that I wouldn't really breach the Rachel/Shelby topic in this story, but I'm not so certain any more. The more I write, the less I seem to be able to leave it aside. And lies/secrets certainly aren't a good foundation for the serious relationship I want Rachel and Jesse to have ... just had to get this off my mind._

_Anyways, I would be grateful if you reviewed. Yeah, you.  
_


	12. Not My Load To Carry

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

_New chapter, and only such a slight delay - if there is one at all? I don't quite remember. Anyways, this chapter features quite some plot developments, and I hope you'll enjoy it. _**  
**

_I would like to take this opportunity and advertise an absolutely perfect St. Berry story I've found recently that the shippers among you might be interested in: it's called "Lingering Still" and was written by SpyKid18. Basically shows how Rachel and Jesse could get together if they met in NYADA ... I absolutely loved it, and this story really deserves it if you decide to give it a try.  
_

_I'm still not a native speaker, so tell me about any mistakes I may or may not make.  
_

_Also, review. I heart me some reviews.  
_

* * *

**New A****drenaline**_  
_

**Chapter 12  
**

**- Not My Load To Carry -  
**

I watched Jesse pacing up and down my room while I sat on the bed, propped up against the headboard. We had driven to my house straight from school together – only stopping by his uncle's house shortly to pick up some clothes he could change into for his first meeting with my dads - in order to spend some time with each other while we'd wait for dad and daddy to arrive. Jesse, however, was unable to calm down. He had already implied that the conversation he had had with Mr. Shue hadn't led to the results he had hoped for, but he hadn't given me any details yet.

"He didn't even want to try one of my suggestions!" He finally exclaimed, barely trying to contain his anger. "All I want to do is help, and he tells me to wait and let the things develop before we _rush our actions_." He practically spat out the last part.

"And why is that?" I asked, tucking on the corner of my blanket. I was pretty sure that the disappointment was evident in my voice. I had hoped that now, somehow, things would change. I really had hoped for something, anything, and Mr. Shue's reluctance to put Jesse's ideas into motion had crushed these hopes to pieces. "Maybe I could talk to him on Monday." I suggested. "He could be thinking that you're less interested in really tackling the bullying, and more interested in … well, keeping the comfortable life your star status at Carmel guaranteed. Not that I'd think that." I added hastily when he shot me a look.

"No, I wouldn't have thought for a second you see me that way, Rach." He gave me a weary smile. "It's just that that's part of what he said. In nicer words, but he implied it." His words were followed by a heavy sigh. "He also said that without a complaint from a student, he couldn't do anything at all. And he said that Figgins was willing to overlook the slushying for the sake of not having to suspend the entire football team and the cheerios, since they bring money to the school. They're simply not interested in doing anything. I mean, how bad does it have to get? Are they waiting for someone to get beaten up before they actually step up and do something?"

I don't know why, but for some reason it was this last sentence that made all the barriers I'd set up crash down. This last sentence he'd said really struck a nerve, making me recall all the terrible events of the last two weeks all at once. He had talked himself into a rage, and didn't notice my breakdown until a loud sob escaped my lips. Tears were already streaming down my face when he stopped his pacing, rushed over to my bed, sat down next to me and engulfed me in a tight embrace, murmuring comforting words.

"Shh, Rach, it'll be alright." He whispered, rubbing comforting circles on my back. I was half-aware that my head was leaning against his shoulder and my tears were soaking Puck's red shirt he was still wearing. Regardless, I stayed like that, letting the tears flow, for what felt like an eternity.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed weakly once I trusted my voice enough to blurt out just one short sentence.

"Don't be." He said and kissed my forehead. "I want you to share everything with me, even if it makes you soak my clothes in tears. Especially when there's a possibility that I can help you. So, do you want to tell me what this was about?" He asked carefully, giving me a real choice to keep my mouth shut if I wanted to, but I didn't want to anymore.

So I nodded, but instead of answering, since I still was afraid my voice might break, I pulled the back of my shirt down so he could spot the remainders of the bruises Azimio had given me the Monday after Sectionals. I heard his sharp intake of breath. "Who did this, Rachel?" His voice was calm, but I heard distinct hints of intense anger in it.

I tried to steady my breath before I squeezed out his name. "Azimio."

After my confession, we just sat there on my bed in silence for a while. I let him hold me and comfort me and he just kept stroking my hair much the way he had when I had first admitted that I had been getting slushied. It did take quite a while until my tears finally ran dry, but when they did I felt waves of relief wash over me. Now it was out. I had told him. I didn't have to carry all of this alone any more, on shoulders that had long been way too narrow and fragile and would almost have cracked.

* * *

The mixture of emotions that had started to boil within him when Rachel had showed him the large, bluish-green and violet bruises that covered her back was almost indescribable. Anger, fury, and something that almost felt like what he suspected to be the desire to kill. It took his every ounce of self-control to not jump up right then and call whatever member of the New Directions would give him "Azimio's" full name so he could find him and give him a taste of his own medicine right then.

But he couldn't have left her then. She needed him. She was so fragile, so breakable right then that she seemed like a whole different person from the girl who had belted out "Don't Rain On My Parade" at her Sectionals and seemed so invincible back then. He hated the to him still faceless jock who had dared to take that away from her. He would make sure he would pay for it. He would make sure that they all paid for it.

For now, however, he could only hold her until her tears had dried, her breathing had become calmer and she finally relaxed in his arms.

_Shuester has to do something now. _He thought, but, sadly, he doubted that whatever could be done with the help of the Spanish teacher would be all that effective. He didn't really dislike him, especially since he seemed to do his best to let every member of the glee club – including Rachel, even though he'd often heard her complain about not getting a solo – shine. All of that took place within the boundaries of the choir room and the auditorium, however, and as soon as the New Directions left these rooms, they were on their own.

_But Azimio could get suspended, at the very least. _

That would only last a few days, and he doubted the bully would learn his lesson just because of that. No, he needed to do something more. They needed to do something more, and thankfully, if he had learned one thing while being in Vocal Adrenaline, it was how to intimidate your opponents. Azimio and his co-conspirators wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

Rachel's dads had arrived about an hour later, and he could tell that he, now wearing his usual clothing, had made a good first impression on them. He couldn't have been certain before, because he had met very few parents of girlfriends as of yet and he'd never been serious about any of these relationships, but those he had met had usually been quite fond of him. He was well-educated after all, and when he didn't show his most arrogant side, he was fairly likeable.

It was no different with Leroy and Hiram Berry, except for the fact that he had never been that nervous about meeting anybody else's parents. But the first awkward moment passed quickly, and he soon launched into a rather interesting conversation about their favorite Broadway musicals with Hiram in the living room while Rachel and Leroy prepared the dinner together. It was obvious that Hiram was well-versed on all major Broadway productions and some off-Broadway musicals, too, and Jesse actually found great joy in discussing all the parts he'd like to play one day with Rachel's dad.

"Dinner is served!" They heard Leroy's voice call eventually, and Hiram pointed him towards the dining room where he made him sit down next to Rachel while he and Leroy took their places on the other side of the table so the teenagers and the adults were sitting face to face.

"So, how did the two of you meet?" Leroy asked after everyone had gotten themselves a portion of the delicious smelling chicken breast caprese he and Rachel had prepared.

"I saw her singing at Sectionals and was … blown away." Jesse confessed, automatically smiling at Rachel. "I never would have thought I would meet someone with a voice like hers just around the corner in _Ohio_." He stretched the last word on purpose, knowing that it was always possible to loosen the atmosphere by making jokes about the very common aversion to the state they lived in. He watched Leroy and Hiram exchange a grin, and knew that it had worked.

"So you're a singer too?" Leroy, who, unlike Hiram, didn't know about Jesse's fanatical love for Broadway musicals yet, asked, but Rachel chimed in before Jesse could answer.

"Oh yes, he is, daddy. And he has an amazing voice. Before he transferred to McKinley, he was on Vocal Adrenaline, the Carmel High show choir, and with him as a lead singer they won Nationals three years in a row." Rachel explained, giving Jesse a small smile that was very similar to the one he had given her when he had praised her voice.

"That's impressive. So why did you transfer, Jesse?" Hiram asked.

"Because of Rachel." Jesse answered truthfully. He didn't go into any further detail, however, since Rachel had asked him not to mention the bullying to her dads and he already felt her tense besides him. "I just … thought that our relationship would probably suffer if I stayed at Carmel, and unlike hers, my ties to my teammates were pretty loose. It was easier for me to go." It wasn't exactly a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth, and he was good enough of an actor to have the words flow smoothly from his lips. He could feel Rachel's dads stare at him, however.

"Well … that's quite a big step." Leroy said finally, looking from Jesse to Rachel.

Jesse grinned. "I'm absolutely certain that Rachel is worth it."

Hiram nodded. "But what about your parents? I don't think they were, well, thrilled about that decision."

Jesse shook his head, lips pressed into a tight line. "They are not interested. They're not in the country most of the time. I've moved in with my uncle who lives here in Lima two days ago, and I've had more of a family life since then than I had in the last few years." He stated.

"Oh … I'm sorry about that." Hiram told him, obviously aware of the fact that he had just hit a sore spot.

"And you don't regret having let go of your chance of winning a fourth consecutive national title?" Leroy asked in a clear effort to change the topic.

"I've always been ambitious, and even though it would be nothing more than a lap of honor, a fourth consecutive title would mean something to me." Jesse admitted. "But Rachel definitely is a lot more important than that." He smiled, reaching out to take his girlfriend's hand beneath the table. "Besides, I still think we have a pretty good shot with Rachel and me being in the same club as a pair of leads." He said with a smirk.

"Well, I bet the New Directions handle things a little differently than Vocal Adrenaline." Leroy said good-naturedly, trying to keep the conversation going now that they had left the uncomfortable topic of Jesse's unusual relationship to his parents.

"They definitely do. You could say Vocal Adrenaline is more professional. We had several vocal coaches and the best paid choreographer a high school budget can buy." Jesse stated matter-of-factly. "This professional approach is also the reason I was at Rach's Sectionals in the first place - checking out the competition. And that's definitely a lucky coincidence. I also never saw coach Corcoran this frightened." Jesse laughed. "She was almost paranoid after she saw Rachel sing."

"Wait … did you just say her name was Corcoran?" Hiram asked with a slight hint of suspicion Rachel surely noticed. Jesse was certain she also noticed that her dad had been speaking of Shelby as a "her" although Jesse hadn't mentioned that coach Corcoran was a woman yet. He could practically hear her mind reel. She was already suspicious, and he knew she would probably bombard him with questions later.

That was when he decided he did not want to do this anymore. He did not want to be caught up in issues that he hadn't caused and that should not be affecting him, neither directly nor indirectly.

"Yes, her name is Shelby Corcoran. She's the best show choir director money can buy, so it's only logical Vocal Adrenaline hired her." If he had just said the words, his answer would have seemed perfectly innocent. But that was not what he wanted. The way he put a special emphasis on her name and let the second sentence purposefully sound like a lame excuse, and the way that he met Hiram's eyes were meant to convey that he _knew_.

_Now it's your problem. Deal with it. _He thought, actually relieved that he had put the problem back where it belonged: on the shoulders of the adults who had caused it.

* * *

I knew something was up. The way dad and daddy reacted at the mention of the name Shelby Corcoran was very unusual, to put it mildly. Actually, I'd rarely seen dad this disturbed - daddy had always been the more theatrical one of the two. Still, he, too, clearly recognized the name.

On top of that, the way Jesse reacted was very strange. It was like they were all in on a big secret I had not yet discovered, almost like when my dads had planned a surprise party for my fifteenth birthday and acted weird for weeks.

Well, I hated surprises. They made me lose control, but I _always _had control of my life.

So I would find out. I shot both dad and daddy a questioning glance and saw them shift uncomfortably. They knew I would find out. It was just a matter of time.

* * *

_That's it! Now what do you think? You know about cause and effect, don't you? In our case, reviews are the cause. The effect is me writing more. Got it? Then you know what to do! ;)_


	13. Revelations

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of its characters or any of the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

_Hey, it's lucky thirteen. Hope you guys will enjoy this chapter. _

_Yes, I'm not a native speaker but I'm sure those of you who read my author's notes know that by now. So please tell me about my mistakes. On that note, thanks to kittyiyloveranime for pointing the difference between expelled and suspended out for me._

_After I'd been overwhelmed with the feedback for chapter eleven, I was almost disappointed when not so many of you reviewed for twelve. That's probably a luxury problem, though, since I still got enough reviews. ... If you want to see me happy, please review!_

* * *

**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 13**

**- Revelations -**

"What does your former glee coach have to do with my dads?" She wasted no time and got right to the point the moment the door in the wall that divided the dining room from the hallway had closed behind the two of them. Her dads had withdrawn to the kitchen so the teenagers could have some alone time while she'd walk him to the door and they'd tell each other goodbye. At least that had been what her dads had pretended to intend. But Jesse was sure they knew her daughter at least as well as he did and were very aware of the situation they had just put him in.

"They know her from way back in time." Jesse said evasively, struggling to meet Rachel's eyes.

"You may be a decent actor, Jesse St. James, but I know you well enough to know that you're lying."

"Oh, you always know it's serious when someone starts to add your last name." He teased, but he didn't expect that to distract her, and it didn't.

"Stop beating around the bush!" She demanded, eyes blazing furiously. "You can't think I'm that stupid. I saw the glances you exchanged with my dads. So, I'm going to ask one more time: who is Shelby Corcoran to my dads?"

She sounded dead serious, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to calm her down with a witty comeback. So, instead, he settled for as much honesty as possible. "See, I know who Shelby Corcoran is to your dads. I won't deny that. I didn't ask for it, and she told me before I ever met you. If I could, I'd go back and stop that from ever happening." He said in a rush. "But that's not something you should hear from me. That's something your dads need to tell you." He added, looking her straight in the eyes.

"You … you really think that?" She asked, obviously realizing that he wasn't trying to be evasive any more.

"I do. And Rach …" He took a deep breath. "Please don't hate me when they tell you. You need to believe me that I really care about you. A lot."

"I don't … I wouldn't. I know you care about me … I can't … I don't think it's even possible for me to hate you." She finally finished, clearly utterly confused.

He shook his head. "You might and I … I'd understand." He said, looking and sounding like a beat puppy. "All I can do is beg you not to hate me."

They didn't kiss goodbye, and when the door closed behind him and he filled his lungs with the cool night air, he wasn't flooded with relief at all.

He couldn't do anything about this now. It was all out of his hands.

He just hoped that Rachel's dads would do the sensible thing and tell her.

* * *

"She broke the contract! Why would … no, scratch that. How could she? Oh, I'm so going to sue her sorry ass! … She broke the contract!" Hiram thought that this was the closest he had seen his partner get to a temper tantrum in quite some time, and even although his words sounded convincing and his fury at Shelby Corcoran, their surrogate, was probably very real, the expression on Leroy's face looked just plain wrong.

"Well, she did not actually break the contract; therefore I doubt we'll be able to _sue her sorry ass._" Hiram reminded his partner, echoing the words that had just come out of Leroy's mouth and also been anything but his partner's usual vocabulary. "She did not seek Rachel out."

Yes, he tried to stay reasonable, tried to break everything down to the facts. Nevertheless, he had already had his third glass of wine this evening – which was definitely more than he was used to – and he could see his and Leroy's control of the situation slip away.

"But she obviously made him seek her out, and you know her. You know that she is … creative. Manipulative, at times." Leroy raised his hands, almost as if in defeat, although he still refused to give in. "There must be some part in that contract that applies to this situation. True, we haven't planned on _this._ Still, we've taken our precautions very carefully. I'll just read every word on these ten pages again tomorrow, as many times as necessary. I will find something, and then we'll drag her before a court. We'll …"

"Leroy, stop it." Hiram interrupted his partner in a calm voice, intertwining his fingers with Leroy's. "I don't think we should sue her, even if there was a chance of success." He stated solemnly.

"And why is that?" Leroy asked in defeat, pouring himself another glass of the rich red wine that they had served with the chicken earlier that night.

"Because Rachel is already suspicious. She knows we have a secret, even if the boy hasn't told her yet." Hiram reasoned. "What if she finds out, one day, that we once sued her mother in order for her to stay away from her?"

"She wouldn't trust us ever again." Leroy said.

"She wouldn't." Hiram confirmed.

"She might even turn her back on us." Leroy added.

"She might." Hiram agreed.

They looked into each other's eyes, both seeing their own fear reflected. This most basic fear was the reason for both Leroy's anger and fury towards Shelby and Hiram's urge to deal with the problem as calmly and factually as possible, but also as meticulously as necessary. It was the fear they had had from the first day after their decision to have a child with the help of a surrogate had been put into action. That someday Shelby would come and snatch their beautiful baby away from them.

So they had set up the contract, the contract that determined that Shelby wasn't allowed to contact Rachel until the latter one turned eighteen or they would have the possibility to take legal action.

It had looked so much easier on paper.

"God, I hate that boy." Leroy groaned. There was no mistaking whom he was referring to.

"Oh no, you love that boy. So did I." Hiram smiled sadly. "So does Rachel."

"But he's Shelby's sycophant!" Leroy shouted exasperatedly.

"Oh, I don't think he is. She intended him to be, that's for sure, but think about it. He could have told her by now." Hiram said knowingly.

"Well, he's put a lot of pressure on us. That's not exactly protecting the secret either." Leroy countered.

Hiram shook his head. "You can't expect him to do that. It was wrong of Shelby to try and use him in the first place, but that isn't his fault. And now he's clearly trying to establish a relationship with Rachel."

"And you're trying to tell me what?" Leroy asked sourly.

"You know that. Don't act dumb." Hiram answered good-naturedly. "He _can't _keep that a secret. If she ever found out that he knew … well, it wouldn't be pretty."

Leroy snorted. "They're teenagers. They're bound to break up."

"So if they were older, you'd consider different actions?" Hiram returned. "True, I've only seen them together these past few hours. But to me, they look like a better couple than a lot of so-called adults. And their obviously serious about this relationship. He changed schools for her, that is a big step."

Leroy shook his head and poured the last of his wine in the kitchen sink. "So what do you suggest we should do?"

"Tell her. Carefully, softly … but tell her."

"Because a schoolboy told you to do so?" Leroy asked in disbelief.

"No." Hiram said firmly. "We tell her because it is the right thing to do. We tell her because she has a right to know."

"That wouldn't have been enough of a reason yesterday." Leroy countered.

Hiram sighed. "We'll also do it because Jesse is not to blame for having this certain knowledge and at the end of the day, no matter how mature he may act, he is a probably scared little boy who doesn't know how to handle this secret. We'll do it because Rachel loves him and does not deserve to have this in her way while trying to build a happy, stable relationship. We'll do it to make it right. We'll fix Shelby's fault, because she can't." Hiram concluded.

"Well, that's a lot of reasons we didn't have yesterday." Leroy said dryly. "I just hate that we have to be the honorable ones."

* * *

"Dad? Daddy?" I asked, my voice breaking from the insecurity I was loaded with when I re-entered the dining room. My dads had sat back down on their side of the table, and dad gestured towards my chair so I would sit back down, too.

"Did he … did he tell you anything?" Daddy asked, obviously hesitant.

"No, he didn't. Well, he said that he knew what all of this is about, but he also said that this was something _you_ needed to tell me …" I blurted out, realizing that I was not prepared for this situation at all. I had wanted to find out what this big secret I had learned about merely an hour ago was; I had just fired questions at Jesse in the hallway so that he would tell me, but he didn't, and then he went, and we hadn't even kissed goodbye. God, it had felt like he had taken a part of me with him and he had begged me not to hate him and now I was more confused than ever … I took a deep breath when I realized that I had just continued babbling in my mind after I had forced myself to shut my mouth.

Yes, I did want to know what this secret was. But now that I was so close to learning it, I feared that I might burn my fingers.

"So, Shelby Corcoran." I finally said, the name feeling unfamiliar on my tongue. Both of my dads flinched at the mention of it, however, and I kept my gaze trained on them.

"Yes, Shelby. Rachel, please know that we would have told you someday. And we would quite possibly have been better prepared." Dad said with a nervous smile.

"And all we can ask of you is not to turn your back on us." Daddy added, giving me a pleading look.

I nodded. "You know I wouldn't do that." I reassured them, wondering what kind of secret this could be that made everyone who knew about it ask me not to hate them or turn my back on them.

I heard dad's intake of breath and shifted slightly in my chair. "Rachel, I'm sorry, but I think there's no right way to tell you this, and I think this will be quite a shock."

The slight pause after this sentence seemed to stretch to minutes, hours, years, centuries. My heart beat so fast that I barely heard the next words over the blood roaring in my ears.

Barely. But I heard them.

"Shelby Corcoran is the name of the surrogate we picked seventeen years ago. She is your biological mother."

* * *

He had driven straight to his uncle's house, trying to calm down. He did not want to think about what might be happening in Rachel's house right then, but he did, and the images were way too vivid. There were moments when he was convinced that she would hate him – she had to, for god's sake – and the mere thought almost tore him apart.

Still, there was one more thing he had to do. And he would do it for her, whether she hated him by now or not. He needed to do this because she deserved it.

So, right after he had parked his black Range Rover in front of his uncle's cozy house and gotten his breathing under control, he got his cell phone out of his jeans pocket and dialed a number he had received earlier today. The other boy picked up on the third ring.

"St. James, please tell me you don't want to discuss your date with me." Puck said, and this actually made Jesse smile, if only briefly.

"No, that's not it." Jesse answered. "I want to call a glee club meeting at my uncle's house tomorrow at, let's say, 10 am. Is there any way you can reach all of the others?"

"I assume this is about the bullying thing?" Noah asked calmly.

"It is." Jesse confirmed.

"Then I'll do it. As much as I hate to say it, we have a phone tree." Jesse heard the Jewish boy smirk at the other end of the line. "See you tomorrow, St. James."

* * *

_That's been quite a long chapter, and unlike the previous ones, I've actually written this one in one sitting. Hope you like it, and if you do, please review. You know, reviews make me write more._

_Come on, you know you can't leave this page before you leave a review._

_No, seriously, you can't._


	14. Heavy News

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own glee, its characters or any of the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

**New Adrenaline  
**

**Chapter 14  
**

**- Heavy News -  
**

_"Shelby Corcoran is the name of the surrogate we picked seventeen years ago. She is your biological mother."_

After that, everything was a blur. My mind told me that I was still sitting on usual my place in the dining room and that my dads were sitting right in front of me, barely more than a meter away. I could see their lips moving, but I didn't understand a word they said. As if some kind of semi-transparent bubble had swallowed me. All I could do was watch them trying to get through to me, attempting to bombard me with more information when already the last two sentences I'd still been able to grasp had been enough to put me into this state of shock.

_"Shelby Corcoran is the name of the surrogate we picked seventeen years ago."_

The words echoed in my head, etching themselves into the deepest corners of my mind.

"_She is your biological mother."_

Mother. How could such a small word have such a big impact? Merely two syllables, uttered ever so quickly.

Mother.

I tried to say something, anything, but the words were all jumbled up even in my mind and dissolved quickly before they could get out of my mouth, leaving me staring at my dads agape.

I noticed that my dads had fallen silent – their mouths weren't moving anymore. Instead, they were looking at me intently. Solemnly, worriedly.

_I need to get out of here._

Still unable to get even one word out, and thus unable to soothe their worries, I got up slowly, giving them a long, blank look, and left the dining room. My body climbed the stairs mechanically, and once I had reached the safety of my room, I locked the door behind me. Now that I'd shut the world out not only mentally, but physically, too, I collapsed onto my bed.

I remembered vaguely that the last few times I'd been in this situation, I'd cried. But I couldn't cry. I didn't want to cry. Finding one's mother was nothing to cry about, nothing to feel sad about. No, I didn't feel sad.

I felt … nothing.

My body was drained and my mind was empty. So, exhausted, I soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next day, the living room was packed with the New Directions. Apparently, the phone tree Puck had mentioned the day before worked well. Of course, Jesse's uncle's house couldn't compare to the mansion his parents had built in Carmel, but it wasn't exactly small, either. Nevertheless, the spacious room suddenly seemed to have shrinked in size now that it was filled with eleven teenagers.

Mercedes, Santana, Brittany and Quinn had been lucky enough to conquer the white leather sofa before anyone else did, and Tina had taken a seat on Artie's lap. The rest had to make themselves as comfortable as possible on the soft rug covering the floor.

Every member of the New Directions was there, except for Rachel, whom he hadn't heard of since last night. He had been checking his phone every five minutes this morning, but there had been no texts and no missed calls. He was more than just slightly worried, but he knew he needed to back off. She'd just learned about her mother. She'd come to him when she was ready. Or so he hoped.

"I hope there is a good reason you activated the holy New Directions emergency phone tree, Jesse. I had to construct a very elaborate lie to get away from Finn." Kurt, being the last one to stroll into the room, didn't bother with a greeting.

"It's Finn. He's never been the brightest crayon in the box." Quinn said.

"Yeah, and apart from that, he tossed you into the dumpsters. No way you owe him an explanation on anything you're doing, Hummel." Santana added.

"Well, you don't live in the same room with him." The fashionista defended, sitting down on the floor next to where Mercedes had her spot on the couch.

"You still live in the same room with him?" Mercedes piped up, indignantly. "Have you told your dad? He wouldn't let that happen."

"Relax, Mercy. We're not living together full time. Dad and Carole call it the _testing phase._ She hasn't sold her house yet and stays over with Finn every weekend and some days a week. If it works well, they'll move in eventually. So, nothing major to worry about." The gay boy shrugged off.

"But it will be." Mercedes insisted. "You have to tell your Dad, Kurt."

"Yes, Kurt. You can't possibly let him get away with this." Tina agreed.

"So I'm supposed to ruin the first happy relationship my father has had since my Mum died." Kurt summed up and the room fell silent.

"Don't you think you're making too much of a sacrifice, Kurt?" Mercedes finally said, but she didn't get an answer from the fashionista.

Instead, Puck attempted to change the topic away from the uncomfortable situation Kurt was stuck in. "So, St. James, what's up with this meeting all of a sudden?"

Everyone's heads shot towards Jesse, who took a deep breath before saying as calmly as he could. "Rachel is getting bullied."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Santana cried out the instant he'd finished his sentence. "We're all getting bullied. We are the _glee club_. God, do we have to spell it out for you?"

"I've never been good at spelling." Brittany mumbled looking at the Latina in shock while everyone else was giving her confused glances.

"Santana's right." Artie eventually said. "We are all getting bullied. It's no big deal."

"It is." Jesse, realizing that his initial statement must have sounded like a bad joke to the people present, objected strongly and went on to clarify. "Rachel is getting bullied physically."

That shut everyone up.

"Does she … I mean, is she hurt?" Puck was the first one to find his voice and verbalize the concern that was evident on every single face.

Jesse swallowed. "She has some large bruises on her back." He finally said, fists clenching when he remembered seeing the injuries Rachel had hidden before for the first time. "They don't look pretty." He added.

The room fell quiet once again. Everyone was gazing off in different directions thoughtfully until it was Tina who voiced what everyone was thinking.

"Why didn't we ever notice?"

"Why didn't she ever tell us?" Matt echoed. "I mean, we are her friends, kinda. At least we are the only people she can trust at McKinley. We could have done something."

"Maybe she didn't want to appear weak. It seems just like her." Mercedes guessed.

"Yeah, she's always so strong and determined. Who would've thought …" Quinn trailed off.

"You guys don't have anything to blame yourselves for." Jesse addressed all of them, remembering that Rachel had felt so bound to these people that she'd refused to go to Carmel despite the slushying, and, as he knew now, things that were even worse. Somehow, they really must be her friends, despite all the arguments she'd told him about.

"I was her boyfriend, I was supposed to be there for her … and I didn't notice until yesterday, either." He stated, unable to look anyone in the eyes right then. He just felt so _guilty, _but he couldn't have loaded a decent apology on her yesterday when he knew that the Shelby drama would probably be unloaded upon her as soon as he was out the door. He should have noticed earlier, though. He should have known, should have been more persistent the day he'd found her in the parking lot in slushy-soaked clothes ... Maybe he could have avoided something.

"Well, that answers the question whether you've seen her naked yet." Santana said with a hint of black humor, but she didn't expect anyone to laugh, and nobody did.

"I have a plan. But I need all of you to be willing to help. I just hope … You must not do it for Rachel. You can do it for yourselves, or for Kurt." Jesse announced.

"You don't have to talk us into it, St. James." Santana interrupted. "I know you might think we're not Rachel's best buddies, but we do look out for her. I for once don't want her to get hurt."

"Neither do I." Puck added.

Facing each and every one of the ND members in his uncle's living room in turn, Jesse received nothing but confirming nods. He realized that he wouldn't even have bothered to ask whether they wanted to help, but simply expected it out of each and every one of his former teammates in Vocal Adrenaline. He'd been their leader, and a situation like this one would unquestionably have been a matter of the team. Something was different here, however. Looking into all of these faces of people who were not only willing, but also eager to exact revenge for Rachel, he felt compelled to add at least one more warning. "You could get into trouble. Not everything I've planned is … well, perfectly in harmony with the school regulations."

"Doesn't matter." Artie replied instantly. "Whoever did what was done to her didn't abide by the school regulations, either."

"Yeah, and Figgins isn't one known for taking quick action. We'll be fine." Santana assured.

"It was Azimio." Jesse blurted out mechanically, addressing Artie. "That's all I know. She said he was called Azimio."

"Azimio Adams." Kurt said, nodding. "Yeah, he's a well known bully."

"I guess you would know." Matt said gloomily, and Kurt nodded.

"So, white boy, what's your plan?" Mercedes prompted him.

"Well, this is essentially something I picked up when I was still on Vocal Adrenaline." He smirked. "We called it _funkification, _but what we are going to do to Azimio and his group of allies will be a lot worse …"

* * *

I woke up late on Saturday. My room was already fully illuminated by the sunlight that fell through the window, and I guessed that it must be late morning. A quick glance at my alarm clock confirmed this suspicion: it was 10:27 am. I marveled what could have made me so exhausted that I fell into a coma deep enough to miss my matutinal exercise routine – which was very unlike me – when I noticed the brightly colored note paper my dads must have pushed under my door.

I had locked my door? Something was definitely out of order.

I slowly sat up in my bed, still somewhat sleepy, subconsciously expecting my nightgown to swing loosely around my body, but the familiar feeling was missing. I looked down and noticed that I was still wearing the same clothes I had worn yesterday, my favorite blue skirt with a bright yellow shirt and I started to tremble.

_This isn't right … this isn't right!_

Suddenly there was no greater need than reading the words on this note that surely would explain everything. They must explain everything.

_Hey, sweetie._

_Hope you slept well. Unfortunately, we both have to go to work today, but we prepared breakfast for you. _

_We promise we'll talk as soon as we come home. _

_Love,_

_Dad and Daddy_

That was it. Furiously, I crumpled the paper and tossed it across the room, not caring that it landed about half a meter from my wastepaper bin. This note explained nothing. Nothing! Couldn't they at least have added what we would talk about? What was there that just didn't come to my mind?

Last time we'd talked had been yesterday at dinner. Jesse had been there and …

_"Wait … did you just say her name was Corcoran?"_

_"Yes, her name is Shelby Corcoran. She's the best show choir director money can buy, so it's only logical Vocal Adrenaline hired her."_

Shelby Corcoran. I know I'd been suspicious then, and the name did ring a bell. But everyone had been so careful, and yet so upset.

_"And all we can ask of you is not to turn your back on us."_

_"Please don't hate me when they tell you. You might and I … I'd understand."_

And then I knew. It all came crashing down on me again, and it wasn't any easier than the first time.

_"Shelby Corcoran is the name of the surrogate we picked seventeen years ago. She is your biological mother."_

My mother. My Mum.

My Mum was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, the nation's most prestigious show choir.

My Mum was Shelby Corcoran. Shelby Corcoran was my Mum.

* * *

_So, Rachel's in shock and meanwhile Jesse's getting things done. How did you like it?_


	15. Missing

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own, or claim to own, glee, any of its characters or any of the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

_I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, because, with the last chapter, this story has reached 50 (!) reviews, which is a lot for me! So thank you guys!  
_

_Also huge thanks to the alert/favorite guys. Hope you'll like this chapter!  
_

* * *

**New Adrenaline**

**Chapter 15**

**- Missing -**

_I don't hate you._

That was all my numb fingers had been able to type, but I knew the words were the truth. I didn't hate him. And I knew he needed to know that.

I found myself unable to find any more words to tell him. I couldn't tell him I was alright and he shouldn't worry. I was not alright. No, I was shaken to the core. So I sent him these four words before I turned my phone off, isolating myself from a word that wouldn't have been able to get through to me either way.

Then I made my body walk down the stairs and eat the breakfast my dads had considerately prepared for me. Vegan blueberry pancakes. They were well within the top ten of my favorite foods, but I couldn't bring myself to enjoy them. They just seemed tasteless. I made myself choke down a fair amount nevertheless, figuring I would need something in my stomach for when dad and daddy would get home.

I put the plate in the kitchen sink the way I always did after I had finished my meal, taking brief comfort in the pure normalcy of the action. But I couldn't keep pretending my world hadn't been turned upside down over night for more than a few seconds.

Then I was alone with my thoughts. I was über-aware of the silence surrounding me, and I couldn't get my mind of this one pressing topic. Even watching Funny Girl couldn't distract me, and I gave it up after the first twenty minutes. The screen went black, and the silence was closing in on me again.

I didn't know what to do, what to think.

I had never been looking for my mother. Or even a Mum.

But …

On my first day of school, everyone had been accompanied by a parent. I remembered how proud I had been, walking down the hallway to the classroom holding daddy's hand. I'd been wearing brand new clothes, and carried a beautiful white pink patterned book bag we had chosen a week before. Then we had entered the classroom, and the nice, motherly teacher had greeted us friendly and then asked me my name. I had replied, loaded with self-confidence, and she had ticked something off on her list and daddy and I had turned to face the other kids and parents that had already been present.

Everyone, literally everyone had been accompanied by their Mum.

Even back then, I hadn't let what was similar to my present show face slip. I had smiled up at daddy who had been smiling down at me, and we had made our way to one of the unoccupied seats. I had placed my book bag on the table in front of me the way everyone had and had started unpacking my books and pencils and the sweets my dads had hidden way down in the bag …

Ever since, I hadn't been able to help noticing kids with their Mums. When they were being picked up in front of the dance studio, or the music school, or shopping in the mall. When I was watching cartoon series, or, later, movies, and it was always the mother who would comfort the children and save the day.

At night, when I couldn't sleep, I'd sometimes imagined my Mum would be there, holding me, stroking a strand of my hair out of my face, kissing my forehead and telling me everything would be alright.

I wouldn't ever have dared telling my dads any of this. They loved me, and I loved them back just as much. We were a happy family. Really we were. Still, I couldn't help feeling I was missing out on something all of the other kids had.

And now that I was so close to the person I had missed even though I'd never known her, I wasn't certain of anything anymore.

A week ago, if someone who I really trusted would have asked me what I would do if I found out about my Mum – which would have been a weird enough question to ask, but just given someone _had _– I would have said that I'd leap into her arms the moment I saw her.

Now, however, everything was different. Now, the situation I had to face was very real and not at all fairy-tale-like and it scared me to the bone.

Questions were racing through my mind, so many uncertainties, so many things I had not the least bit of control over.

What if she didn't want me in her life? What if she'd just carried me around nine months, taken the money from my dads and intended to say goodbye forever? What if she really felt like that about me, and I'd come up to her and would be nothing to her? Or even an irritating influence added to her life?

What if she was nothing like me? If she, despite being coach of Vocal Adrenaline, had no ambition at all, no drive? If she was content with living in a small town and coaching high school singers, content with a mediocre career? What if my Mum was all of that?

An endless cascade of what ifs rushed through my mind. As if I had set off an avalanche, one question led to the other until I was buried beneath a pile of terrifying thoughts.

I forced myself to breathe calmly, evenly, the way my yoga teacher had shown me how.

_You are Rachel Barbra Berry. You are a bright star all for yourself. You don't need anybody else to help you shine or define you. _

I needed to remind myself of that. I needed to find a way to remain sane, to stay calm until my dads got home.

So I made myself busy doing mundane things. Washing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the living room. As long as my hands were busy, I could block the thoughts out.

I gratefully allowed my mind to go blank as I waited for my dads to arrive.

* * *

"So … do you have any specific questions?"

We had sat down in the perfectly clean living room, my dads on the sofa and I in the arm chair, facing them. It was dad who had voiced the question, being the calmer one of the two and having collected his thoughts faster than daddy, who might have blurted out something incoherent had he been asked to speak.

"No … I … I don't want her described." The words left my lips as if someone in my brain was feeding lines to me. I didn't know what I would say until I had, but when I had, I knew it had been what I wanted to say. "I need to see her."

I watched my dads exchanged a worried glance, almost as if what I had asked was what they had feared I would ask. Some worst case scenario coming true. Again, it was dad who cleared his throat and told me what they must have discussed in advance. "Of course. We can arrange a meeting, invite her for dinner. Here, or maybe in a restaurant. Or do anything else you'd prefer."

He added the last half sentence when he noticed I was slowly shaking my head.

"I don't want to _meet_ her. Just _see _her." I clarified. "I don't want her to know that I know, or that I'm there when I first see her. I just need an image." I begged.

My mind had realized faster that this was what I needed. Being able to see her, see how she walked, behaved, acted. See her gestures, her facial expressions, her style of clothing, and, maybe, if I was lucky enough to get near her without being noticed, hear her voice.

She couldn't know, however. I needed to be able to withdraw, to get out if I got scared. I needed to be able to make at least one decision, to have control over at least this one, biggest step. That way, I could rebuild some of the ground that had collapsed beneath my feet yesterday night.

I looked at my dads expectantly. I knew I had asked for something that was difficult to achieve. They certainly couldn't just call Shelby and ask her to walk up and down in front of my window without making her suspicious. But I had perfect faith that they would make it work. It was their job.

"We could go to one of Vocal Adrenalines concerts." Daddy offered. I believe I looked at him with the same stunned expression dad gave him. It was the perfect idea, but neither one of us would have thought of that without hours of internet research.

"I just had a client tell me that she was oh so proud of her son who would be performing at the concert, being the new lead soloist." He explained, shrugging casually as if it were nothing, but grinning contently at the same time.

"When?" I asked breathlessly.

"Tonight, at the Lima Community Theatre." He gave me the details, looking me straight in the eyes, waiting for my reaction.

With a gulp, I nodded.

Tonight, I would see her. I already felt the minutes ticking away, both dreading the moment and dying for the evening to arrive.

* * *

_I don't hate you._

He'd seen her text message the moment after he'd said goodbye to Puckerman who had been the last one to leave his house, a look of fierce determination on his face.

He couldn't have been more relieved. He'd tried to call her then, but her voicemail told him she wasn't available and he didn't leave a message. The next time she heard his voice, the next time he talked to her needed to be in person.

He contemplated driving to her house right then, but he suspected she'd turned her phone off for a reason. No, he wouldn't pressure her into talking to him.

She'd come to him when she was ready, and he was willing to wait for her.

He always would be.

* * *

_Spill your thoughts/questions/notes below!_


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